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angiewrvting · 2 years ago

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Unusual Circumstances. Part 1.

Summary ── AU. Unusual Circumstances follows the story of Ellie Rhead, one of the best criminal profilers in the country. Steve, Bucky and Ellie have been best friends since high school, however, that all changed when Bucky vanished without a trace and now Ellie has dedicated her life to finding him. And what happens when Steve has to watch the woman he’s fallen in love with pine for another man.

Pairing ── Steve Rogers x Fem!OC. Bucky Barnes x Fem!OC

Warnings ── Jealous Steve, OC jealousy, Swearing, conversations topics of sex, masturbation, abduction murder and serial killers, angst, fluff, drinking, smoking weed.

Word Count ── 2.909K

Author Note ── This is NOT beta read so all the mistakes are my own. This is my first ever fic on this blog. Please like and leave comments on this to let me know if you’d like a part two. Future parts will feature flash backs to when they all met, how Bucky disappeared, the case as it proceeds, their lives at home, what happened to him and of course a juicy love story.

REQUESTS ARE CURRENTLY OPEN.

185 days. That’s how many it’d been and it still didn’t get any easier.

‘’When was the last time you slept?’’ Steve grumbled from the sofa, flicking through the channels with boredom etched into every movement. It was a good question, in all honestly she wasn’t sure when the last time she’d managed to get a decent amount of sleep was.

How could she when he was out there still?

Ellie’s chartreuse orbs were fixated on the paper work that lay scattered across her old oak desk, each detailing news articles that she’d poured relentlessly over. It was all part of the evidence she’d been collecting since he went missing. Some days it still didn’t feel real, she felt like she was in mourning every time she breathed, resonating deep within her chest.

The day Bucky vanished both she and Steve had been frantic. And now six months later it had become truly real that they may never find him. That he may truly be gone and while Steve had seemed to some what accepted it, Ellie couldn’t.

‘‘Y’know if you keep reading that shit your heads gonna’ explode.’‘ Steve whispered deeply, pushing to stand before walking over and resting his shoulder against the door frame. She knew if she looked up she’d find his piercing blue orbs shining with concern.

‘‘Maybe another coffee will help --- ‘‘ Ellie began.

‘‘No. You’ve had enough caffeine, you need sleep.’‘ He wasn’t being mean, she knew it came from a place of concern and love but she didn’t want to hear it. She couldn’t.

It came out before she could stop herself.

‘‘I need Bucky.’‘ She snapped, instantly regretting it when he recoiled his eyes fluttering shut while he did that thing he where breathed deeply through his nose. She never spoke to him like that, it wasn’t they way they worked. ‘‘Sorry Steve.’‘ She muttered instantly raking her hands through the locks that framed her face. ‘‘Sorry.’‘ She muttered once more before pushing her face into her hands with a sigh.

For a moment he felt that hurt swirl in his sternum, it stung to know that he wasn’t enough. He missed Bucky more than anyone would ever realize, he’d just learnt to channel his pain into other things. He hadn’t given up but he wasn’t letting it control his life anymore. He couldn’t. It’d been eating him alive, tearing him apart piece by piece. Ellie just hadn’t yet learned that she needed to keep herself healthy if she wanted to survive this.

Steve knew that she was over tired, he could see it, so with a sad sigh he closed the space between them pulling her up and into his arms. She was tense, unable to let that grief stop consuming her as the sobs wracked her from her body. How could it have been over six months with no sign of him. They knew he wouldn’t have just left.

They’d never been apart this long since they’d became friends.

‘’I just don’t know how we haven’t found him.’’ She sobbed into his chest, winding her arms around his middle to cuddle herself closer. Steve in that moment felt his own lip tremble. He hated how in pain she was and he missed his friend dearly.

‘’I don’t know, Ellie. I wish I did. But I can’t give you the answers I so badly want too.’’

For a while they stood in each others embrace allowing themselves to live in the pain that had been consuming them since that night. Steve’s hand finding home on he back, rubbing his hands up and down to soothe her the best he could. Ellie hadn’t noticed the longing looks that had developed over the last three years, the want and need that lingered in Steve’s orbs.

He’d wondered at night if it’d always been there but he knew that he could never act on them. The two had always remained platonic, the best of friends and part of the trio. Steve was also keenly aware of the relationship Ellie and Bucky had, they had fun always up to something, flirty banter something they both found humor in and he’d always had to watch. Steve and Ellie had their moments they’d just always related on a more deep and emotional level. He honestly felt like she was the only person he could truly open up and be himself around.

‘‘God, I’m sorry. I’m such a mess.’‘ Ellie muttered, sniffling as she finally began to stop crying. He didn’t let go though, resting his chin on her head. He remembered her saying that she always felt safe when he hugged her, and so any chance he got, Steve made sure to do just that.

‘‘You never have to apologize, El, y’know that.’‘ Steve hummed which made her cling to him a little harder. Ellie had for the longest time felt so comfortable around Steve most people mistook them as a couple, she was quick to tell them that they weren’t that. She’d laugh and tell the people that they were crazy.

Yet, in his arms she felt at home. But some much of her longed for Bucky. It felt like it was killing her, and nights had become restless. She missed talking to him for hours on her patio, laughing until the sun came up or the long nights at Roosters, their favorite dive bar in town.

‘‘We’re meant to be going to Roosters tonight.’‘ Ellie sniffled pulling back to take a look at the towering male whose beard and hair had grown out, a long piece falling in front of his eyes as he took a look at her, letting his thumb swipe away the stray tears.

‘‘I know you don’t want to, but I think it’ll be good for you to get outta’ the house.’‘ Steve spoke softly but it was still firm. He knew she needed to be somewhere that wasn’t her place or the office. ‘‘Plus when was the last time me and you actually did karaoke?’‘ Steve smirked.

He earned a giggle from Ellie and it was the sweetest sound he’d ever heard. He wanted to capture it on a recording so he’d never forget it. ‘’There she is.’’ He chimed, looking down upon her sweetly. ‘’What d’ya say?’’ Steve probed wanting to at least attempt to get her to go out.

‘‘Okay, fine. But you’re paying.’‘ Ellie cooed, slapping her hand on his chest finally pulling away from his embrace. In a matter of moments it went from sweet and tender back to their usual. And while Steve had longed to stay there longer, she was already turning and walking away.

Because she had no idea about the way she affected Steve Rogers.

The music boomed from the speakers that Ellie was pretty sure were on their way out, the smell of beer lingering like stench in the air and floors that her shoes would stick to when she walked across the room. The best way to describe this place was a dive bar, or some form of almost derelict establishment. Roosters was a bar they’d stumbled upon in college, it’d been cheap and Bucky had worked part time behind the bar in the summers before he got a job as a fancy lawyer for a firm just twenty minutes out of town.

And even when they moved up in the world and could have afforded to drink in much nicer places they still always came here. It was like a second home to them, they were friends with pretty much most of the regulars and they served the best hot nuts. Ellie couldn’t help remember him in here with them, all of them here until closing when they were told they had to go.

Or the last conversation she had with Bucky. One that she’d never tell Steve about.

‘‘That’s a whiskey for you.’‘ Steve said, placing the drink down, before dropping into his own seat. ‘‘And a Shir--’’ He didn’t even get to finish before Ellie jumped in.

‘‘You’re drinking red wine?’‘ She teased, running her tongue across her bottom lip to stop the laughter from tumbling from her lips.

‘‘You always make fun of my drink choices.’‘

‘‘That’s because your drink choices are....questionable.’‘ She scrunched up her nose. She’d never been a fan of red, and no matter how many times Steve tried to convince her otherwise, it was utterly disgusting.

‘‘Okay, Mrs fancy criminal profiler with her whiskey.’‘ Steve managed to get out before they both burst into laughter. For a moment he realized that this was the most fun they’d had in what felt like weeks and they’d only just got here. He was hopeful. Telling himself that she just needed to get out and have some fun. Remember what living felt like.

‘‘What are you singing tonight, then?’‘ Ellie asked smirking into her drink. Instantly she felt his side gaze burning into her.

‘‘We not duet-ing?’‘ Steve asked furrowing his brows.

‘‘Yes, of course. I need to make sure we get our rendition of 500 Miles in before the nights over. But I remember last time we were in here I won a bet.’‘ And instantly realization dawned on him.

‘‘Oh you’re good.’‘ He grumbled having completely forgotten.

The last time they’d found themselves in this establishment they’d decided to see who could out drink the other. The loser had to get up on stage and sing something that made them think of the winner. And as the blush tinted Steve’s cheeks, he couldn’t help himself think of the many songs that he found himself thinking about Ellie as he listened.

‘‘I’ll give you time to get a few more drinks in you.’‘ Ellie promised with a smile, earning herself a roll of Steve’s eyes as he took a large gulp of the red wine instead of the sips he usually took.

‘‘I’m gonna end up trashed.’‘ Steve confirmed and all she did was nod.

For a while they sang along, chatted about the evening, reliving memories from their many adventurous nights in here and at some point Ellie had managed to score some weed for after they got home. Everything was going well until she arrived.

Natasha fucking Romanoff.

And in an instant she watched Steve’s attention drift from her to the red head. She shouldn’t have disliked her, she was a nice woman but there was something about Steve and Natasha’s relationship that got under her skin. They’d dated for a while a couple years ago before they broke it off so she could pursue her career and for the life of her, Ellie couldn’t understand how anyone could have broken up with Steve Rogers.

Ellie wasn’t blind. He was gorgeous. And on top of all that he was one of the good ones.

And while they’d maintained a friendship there was something in the way she seemed to always find a way to him when they were in the same bar, always touching him as if she was marking a claim on something that wasn’t hers. Not anymore. Ellie hadn’t even realized her jaw had clenched when she watched Steve get up from his seat almost automatically. Great.

Within a moment he was gone embracing her. She should have been used to it by now but she just wasn’t. Instead she began to drink her drink taking her gaze off Steve in hopes that it’d just go away, focusing on the woman singing Kate Bush horrendously.

‘‘Ellie.’‘ Natasha smiled slipping into the seat on the other side of Steve, while the other woman that she knew as Wanda took the seat next to her. ‘‘You’re looking well.’‘ And straight away she could feel the pity in her eyes, most people looked at her like it. Everyone knew just how much Bucky had meant to her. It was one of the reasons she hated coming because everyone felt sorry for them, but she knew they thought it was time she moved on.

She would never.

‘‘It’s good to see you Natasha.’‘ She offered a tight smile. ‘‘And you, Wanda.’‘ Ellie took another sip of her drink hoping that they could talk between themselves and she could get Steve back to herself. It was just meant to be them tonight, anyway. And unfortunately the three of them quickly delved into conversation, while Ellie just nodded along.

She knew Steve was trying to include her and she wasn’t being rude, or at least, trying not to be. Natasha hadn’t done anything wrong but she just couldn’t seem to get over how she felt towards her. It was definitely because she’d hurt her best friend, she couldn’t shake the memory of seeing Steve in the state he was after she broke up with him. And when Nat lent forward to laugh, her hand falling to Steve’s thigh, Ellie felt every part of herself tense up.

She didn’t want Steve to get false hope, that’s what she was telling herself. This had nothing to do with the fact that Ellie for just a moment thought about what he’d think if she did that to him.

‘‘Nat was just telling me that she heard there’s a really good film at the movies coming out this week, maybe we should check it out soon.’‘ Steve said turning to Ellie with hopeful eyes, a sweet smile on his lips so much so that all she could do with nod with a soft smile.

‘‘That’d be nice, Steve.’‘ Ellie knew it’d mean the world to him. She’d been neglecting him for some time and maybe he just needed her to be a little more present. She couldn’t guarantee she’d be able to keep it up all the time, but she could at least try and be a better friend.

All it took a look over Steve’s shoulder to see Nat’s gaze burning into Ellie. Oh, she knew that look. She’d been telling Steve about the movie in hopes that they’d go with each other and he’d just out right invited his best friend along. Sometimes Steve could be a little bit clueless, but she was kind of glad in that moment that he was.

‘‘Steve --- ‘‘ Nat began, pulling his attention back to her. (As usual) ‘‘I was kinda hoping...just me and you would go to that movie.’‘ And Ellie couldn’t say she wasn’t impressed, at least the girl said what she meant instead of just pretending it was what she’d always intended. ‘‘Like...old times.’‘ Nat and Ellie were both watching, waiting for the penny to drop.

And then it did.

Steve’s mouth formed into the ‘o’ shape, before he nodded. Ellie couldn’t watch so she took her gaze back to the stage that now had a man trying his luck singing Gold and he wasn’t half bad, so she tried to focus on that. What she missed in that moment was Steve trying to gauge Ellie’s reaction to what Natasha had said. Was she bothered? Did she hope that he’d say no? The one thing that bugged Steve to no ends was that he could read her like an open book pretty much all the time but when it came to him she was unreadable. A complex puzzle with a thousand individual pieces that never seemed to interlock.

‘‘Sorry Nat, I misread what you were saying.’‘ Steve said sheepishly, offering her that thousand watt grin that drew all the girls in. Just not the one he wanted. ‘‘I’d love that.’‘ The second the words left his mouth he regretted them because Ellie said nothing, her face didn’t move so he offered the best smile he could muster to Natasha and moved the conversation along.

Ellie could see that the red head was ecstatic. She was getting her claws back in him and the thought alone made her feel sick to her stomach. She just knew if she said anything to Steve he’d think she was being a paranoid best friend. Because that’s all she was to him.

Buzz.

Her phone buzzing changed the conversation, and Steve turned from her instantly. She knew he was pissed off but she couldn’t quite place her finger on why. She’d never met someone who could go from being a ball of sunshine to a brooding poet in the space of seconds.

That was Steve fucking Rogers she mused to herself.

‘‘Sorry --- I gotta’ take this’‘ Ellie muttered instantly answering as she made to stand. But she wouldn’t make it very far because the whole world seemed to freeze. That voice was one she’d thought she may never hear again. Bucky. It wasn’t him though, it was a recording. She could tell from the static and scratching in the sound. It was him begging for his life and in that was him crying out her name repeatedly.

Bucky was being tortured and someone was using it to torture her.

‘‘What...’‘ She breathed shaking like she was vibrating. ‘‘Stop. No. What ever you need, what ever it takes, please. Please, not him. Stop’‘ She screamed into her phone which instantly caught Steve, Natasha and Wanda’s attention. He made to stand instantly, calling out her name when his hand settled upon her arm, fear and concern written all over his mouth, tilting his head to the side. He had no idea what was going on.

But he feared the worst.

‘‘They’re killing him.’‘ Was all Ellie sobbed before the world went black.

IF YOU WANT A PART TWO, YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!

#chris evans fic #chris evans smut #chris evans fics #chris evans #andy barber #andy barber fic #steve rogers #steve rogers x oc #bucky barnes x oc #bucky barnes fic #marvel #angie writes

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jakobdodson · 2 years ago

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2022 in Music

Here is a note about the music I listened to in 2022. I hope you enjoy it!

Favorite Albums of 2022

Blue Rev - Alvvays

Banger after banger after banger on here!

Favorite Songs:

After The Earthquake

Tile By Tile

Belinda Says

Bored In Bristol

A Light For Attracting Attention - The Smile

This is essentially a Radiohead album with a jazzy twist. Accordingly, it belongs here, among my favorites of the year.

Favorite Songs:

Speech Bubbles

Open The Floodgates

Free In The Knowledge

Skirting On The Surface

Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe In You - Big Thief

My most anticipated release of the year that easily surpassed my highest expectations. It explodes into several beautifully creative directions and where it could overwhelm with its ambition it tends to endear and make you smile.

Favorite Songs:

Change

Dragon New Warm Mountain I Believe in You

Flower of Blood

Red Moon

Promise Is a Pendulum

12,000 Lines

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Runners Up

Dawn FM - The Weeknd

Once Twice Melody - Beach House

LABYRINTHITIS - Destroyer

Ice, Planets, Lungs, Mushrooms, and Lava - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

Dripfield - Goose

Music for Animals - Nils Frahm

Liked It

Misadventures of Doomscroller - Dawes

I’m Not Sorry, I’m Just Being Me - King Hannah

Good and Green Again - Jake Xerxes Fussell

Hell on Church Street - Punch Brothers

Time Skiffs - Animal Collective

Ants from Up There - Black Country, New Road

Humble Quest - Maren Morris

The Joy of Music - Ben Rector

The Jacket - Widowspeak

Underground Complex No. 1 - Typhoon

Fear of the Dawn - Jack White

Omnium Gatherum - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

Giving The World Away - Hatchie

Break Me Open - S. Carey

Romeo & Juliet - Ryan Adams

One is One - Delta Spirit

Two Ribbons - Let’s Eat Grandma

Big Time - Angel Olsen

Preacher’s Daughter - Ethel Cain

Cruel Country - Wilco

The Loneliest Time - Carly Rae Jepsen

Surrender - Maggie Rogers

Teeth Marks - S.G. Goodman

Take It Like A Man - Amanda Shires

Sons Of - Sam Prekop & John McEntire

Chloe and the Next 20th Century - Father John Misty

Reggae Film Star - Damian Jurado

Freakout/Release - Hot Chip

Will Of The People - Muse

WE - Arcade Fire

Birds In The Ceiling - John Moreland

Profound Mysteries II - Röyksopp

sandhills music - Ben Seretan

The Blue EP - MORE&MORE

I’m Sweating All the Time - Wormy

Heartmind - Cass McCombs

The Liar - John Fullbright

Midnights - Taylor Swift

Changes - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

Rolling Golden Holy - Bonny Light Horseman

Into the Blue - Broken Bells

I Walked With You a Ways - Plains

Laminated Denim - King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard

ILYSM - Wild Pink

Being Funny in a Foreign Language - The 1975

And In The Darkness, Hearts Aglow - Weyes Blood

Schvitz - Vulfpeck

MUNA - MUNA

Cowboy Ballads, Pt. 1 - Jesse Tabish

Drew Winn - Drew Winn

Can I Take My Hounds to Heaven? - Tyler Childers

Blue Skies - Dehd

Harry’s House - Harry Styles

Ali - Vieux Farka & Khruangbin

Meh

Quitters - Christian Lee Huston

Chris - Ryan Adams

Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers - Kendrick Lamar

Plonk - Huerco S.

Palomino - First Aid Kit

Alpha Zulu - Phoenix

God Save the Animals - Alex G

No Rules Sandy - Sylvan Esso

Not from 2022

Ram - Paul McCartney, Linda McCartney

Plum - Widowspeak

Tago Mago - CAN

Ege Bamyasi - CAN

Night Moves - Bob Seger

Dots & Loops - Stereolab

Haven’t Listened Yet...

ForeverEverAndEverNoMore - Brian Eno

Empire Central - Snarky Puppy

Björk - Fossora

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Cool It Down

FM - Ryan Adams

Entering Heaven Alive - Jack White

V I N C E N T - FKJ

Inside Problems - Andrew Bird

Kumoyo Island - Kikagaku Moyo

Dropout Boogie - The Black Keys

Headful of Sugar - Sunflower Bean

Everything Was Beautiful - Spritualized

Electricity- Ibibio Sound Machine

(watch my moves) - Kurt Vile

You Belong There - Daniel Rossen

El Mirador - Calexico

Unlimited Love - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Things Are Great - Band of Horses

caroline - caroline

Pompeii - Cate Le Bon

The Dream - alt-j

Anaïs Mitchell - Anaïs Mitchell

Laurel Hell - Mitski

Silver Sash - Wovenhand

Concerts Attended in 2022:

The War on Drugs - Cains Ballroom - Tulsa, OK - 6/4/22

John Fullbright - Fassler Hall - Tulsa, OK - 10/2/22

Spoon - Austin City Limits - Austin, TX - 10/9/22

Goose - Austin City Limits - Austin, TX - 10/9/22

Kacey Musgraves - Austin City Limits - Austin, TX - 10/9/22

Luke Combs - Paycom Center - Oklahoma City, OK - 12/9/22

The Book of Mormon - Eugene O’Neill Theatre - New York, NY - 12/21/22

Links to past lists:

10 Albums that changed my life

2012

2013

2014

2015

2016

2017

2018

2019

2020

2021

_________________________________________________

Happy Listening!

Jake

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5ammi90 · 11 months ago

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Episode 4

Wow you are in sync. Yeah you’re fine.

Felix is vibing with the Salazar family.

Pilar is ice cold. Damn.

Pilar don’t say Grace. Don’t throw shade. If you are so upset by what you found talk to your mum instead of whatever you’re doing.

Great tell Victor about the affair instead of talking to your mother. That’s smart.

Yes Victor keep lying to yourself (Simon) everything is great.

More singing Mia please. She so cute. Uh oh dad has a girlfriend. Sorry Mia. Oh this isn’t a new thing. Well this girl is new but it’s apparently more.

Dang Lake. Mia that’s 3 year friendship story. Not barely a month. Poor Mia.

Yes talk to your mum. Fuck sake you guys. Stop being stupid. Oh great we’re gonna met him. Not a good idea.

Lake. The hell. Stop talking.

We don’t hug here. Stop that. Oh shit she smart. Mia that check list is wrong. Uh oh. Mia is freaking.

That is definitely not Roger. Nice work Pilar. Way to ruin a marriage. Found Roger and Victor recognises him. Shit. This is bad.

Lake. Read your friend.

Mia doesn’t think this is real. That Veronica isn’t what she seems. So now we have daughter being terrible to an actually decent person that her dad really likes. (I hate this).

Jesus Mia. Let’s take five on that one.

Victor is gonna be all over the place. Pilar, mistakes have been made.

Coach that was very gleeful.

Trainwreck.

Nope Mia, his family is falling apart as you speak.

Yep trainwreck. Please don’t fight the ref. That is the worst thing you could do. Here comes that short fuse.

Oh blowout in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Shit

Wait, dad knew about the affair. Damn. This is gonna be fun.

Told you, you should have just spoke to your mum about Roger. Instead we have this mess. Noice. They moved because of the affair. Oh Pilar is gonna explode. Oh shit, Victor didn’t even speak just walked away. Dad ain’t over the affair. What rest??? Wait why would they hate dad, did he have an affair first??? This is a mess.

Mia, what do you mean your mum isn’t an addict. Free spirit, because he wanted to, she didn’t want any of it. Mia that isn’t a fault with you, it’s a fault with her.

More secrets. Great plan there parents.

Message from Simon. Well Simon, his week wasn’t that good. Don’t slam the laptop like that, you’ll break it.

#love victor

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fairest · 1 year ago

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Sleeping through the siege: three dreams in a week of war & peace

In his September 1939 journals, Albert Camus wondered where the war was. “Where does this absurd event show itself, except in the news bulletins we have to believe and the notices we have to read?”

In May 1940 he wrote, “The Stranger is finished.”

I doubt the truths of The Stranger, a book about blaming the fact you killed an Arab on the sun being in your eyes.

I make coffee. Betsy and I feel like shit. Leo is fine, he just has pneumonia. We try to figure out if this current sickness is left over from the Covid, the cold, or if it’s the flu. We fail to understand. The current sickness is too much to hold in our heads or the bobbling head of the household. We don’t remember when our sickness started. We no longer know how long it’s lasted. That’s the way the sickness makers like it. For those who build the sickness, business is booming.

I haven’t been this pissed off at America since March of 2003, and back then I was pissed off at everything. I can’t stop thinking about how things might be different if Bernie were president. Joe Biden stands up there in old glory. World War will be his “joeissance.” He talks about the “rules of war” like war is a game of Sorry! But nobody follows the rules when they play Sorry!, not really, you just kind of move around the board. This is what we mean when we say Trump & Biden are the same thing.

The worst voices of all are those like mine. Those I 100% agree with. Those who know the god’s honest truth.

In the dumpling place, I hear two artistic-looking white college students ask themselves, “If they know anything about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.” They don’t. They text their friend Matt, who should know. Then they talk about the new season of Big fucking Brother.

Last week Leo, my six-year-old son, asked me if there was, “War that wasn’t Star Wars.” I loathe the beautification of war in Star Wars, but these days I shake like Ben Kenobi when Alderaan explodes.

Matt is still typing, the college kids say, slurping their soup.

Matt is still typing when the dumplings arrive.

I am drawn to music that offers surprise attacks. The first Roger Sessions Piano Sonata. The cello in the second movement of Mozart’s “Dissonance” String Quartet. The final timpani in the Adagio of Beethoven’s Fourth Symphony.

When I clip the YouTube video of that final timpani, I notice it ends at the “9:11” mark.

Betsy has a dream Jewish children are writing in sidewalk chalk Oseh shalom bimromav, Hu ya’aseh shalom aleinu, V’al kol Yisrael V’imru, and then Palestinian children come and write their prayer for peace, too, and the children leave their chalk drawings and walk off hand-in-hand.

In the dream Betsy knows the Palestinian prayer for peace, but when she wakes up, she doesn’t.

I read the news. I buy the actual newspaper and tell myself I will only read news at night. I download news apps I’ve downloaded before, because I’m told by the App store I can just open.

Those who don’t read the news make me choke even more. They are usually the ones with central air conditioning.

When there can be no peace is the time for peace.

Yoram Kaniuk on, I think, the vastness of land in the United States:

“We drove along dirt roads between cliffs and blue and brown mountains for about five or six hours until we reached an isolated ranch surrounded by hundreds of acres of pasture and cows. I went to the foreman and as he gave me a tour I thought, I could put the entire State of Israel somewhere here in the middle of the ranch.”

10.

Always the drumbeats of war. The A1 snares of Taylor Swift. The below the fold snares of Gang Starr. The pots and pans of screamo bands that broke up in 2006 for unknown reasons. This war feels like those demos, a tape taped off another tape taped off another tape taped off another tape taped off another tape.

11.

Fred Moten:

After September 11th American imperial policy took no time off to mourn. We could have no share in that. No matter how much like that whatever we do is, no matter how many times we did things like that before that was done to us.

12.

I dream Hamas has gathered us in a cowshed and sent us against the walls. There are thousands of barns in this field and we wait. Hamas fighters enter our barn. They kill the cows first. I have my arms around my California cousins, my Florida aunt, my eyes are closed and I’m humming, I see the figure five in gold, I see the figure five in gold. They spare me. They spare my aunt. They kill my cousins. I’m in an airport Starbucks, removing the “ham” from an Egg McMuffin. I see a Pakistani woman holding a Guyanese child. The child is dead. The mother wailing. I recognize them from the barn.

13.

The poet Erich Kästner, in 1930:

“One day in the year 2003 a thousand airplanes fly from Boston loaded with gas and bacteria to kill all of humanity, because this is humanity’s only way of achieving the goal of world peace.”

14.

Matt is still typing.

15.

Sahir Ludhianvi, which, right now, sounds behind the times:

War is itself a problem. It isn’t the solution to any problem; Today it will offer fire and blood, And deliver hunger and want tomorrow.

16.

We go apple picking. We eat donuts. We enter the maze and get out of it. Leo rides a pony named Betty. He slides down the slide. He pumps on the swings. The rapper Billy Woods, watching his child swing on the swings, realized, “anything in the world could happen to him.” But the things happening to children right now are not things that will happen to my Leo. They somehow don’t even feel, right now, like the things happening to an African American like Billy Woods.

During the car ride home, Leo tells us he had a dream Ryder and Chase were having a contest on the swings. I get a little excited. I think he can sense there’s war outside of Star Wars. “Are Ryder and Chase enemies?” I ask. “No, Daddy” he says, “you know Ryder and Chase are the same.” So he does understand war.

#dreams #gaza #israel #war #anti-war #OG #Stuart Ross

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biisexualemma · 2 years ago

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new old life pt.3. bucky barnes

word count: 1.6k

warnings: no? swearing?

requested: yes

plot: you’re adapting to new life in the compound

a/n: haven’t posted anything for a really long time and i’m sorry because so many of you wanted more of this series but i was in such a rut! i have another part written for this series and it feels like it’s gonna be a long one so hopefully y’all are ready for a ride and a journey lol anyway hope you enjoy?!

part 1 / part 2 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7 / masterlist

you sat in silence, hands cuffed together in front of you, resting in your lap. you hadn't lifted your eyes from the table in front of you once through the entire meeting. you didn't get a kick out of being held against your will, less so with this particular group of people.

"well, it's settled," tony cleared his throat, nodding his head slightly.

"i wouldn't say that exactly," clint mumbled under his breath, eyes glaring at anyone but you. steve let out a heavy sigh, running a hand over his face.

"it's not permanent," steve tried to make the situation more digestible but not one single person was thrilled about any of this.

"thank god," you murmured, a small scoff leaving your lips. you felt the harsh, disapproving glare of one steve rogers but ignored it with an frustrated eye roll.

you hadn't exactly come to terms with your new situation but you were very aware that you had very few options to pursue. you hadn't quite given up, you were sure you could find some way out of this, you just needed time to come up with something.

"in the meantime," tony spoke up again. the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. "y/n you'll be installed with an anklet for security, so we can keep an eye on you. this means you won't be permitted to exit the compound at any point other than to complete missions with the team."

you clenched your teeth, you couldn't look at any one of them without feeling like you'd explode so you kept your head down. "this is bullshit."

"this is punishment, and consequence for your actions," steve barked back at you. usually calm and level headed in every situation, you were the one person that riled him up in a way he couldn't control. "something you haven't had to deal with until now. so get used to it."

"this is something we'll all have to adjust to," tony chimed in again. he didn't look at you once, which only fuelled your anger. "y/n is part of the team whether we like it or not,"

"not," wanda interjected.

"and as a precaution we will be assigning one of you to keep a close eye on her. to train with her, pair up with her on missions, even sleep in the same quarters," everyone waited with baited breath, praying it wasn't one of them. "barnes," tony glanced at the solider sat in the corner who's head shot up when he heard his name. he opened his mouth to protest but was cut off quickly. "you're pretty familiar with this sort of thing, so you'll be in charge of her."

"do i get a say in who's in charge of me?" you spoke through gritted teeth. they were treating you like a wild animal, something to be contained and controlled. which you would not.

"no," steve shut you down immediately. "no one has much of a say in any of this. this is how it'll be from now on, everyone will have to like it or they can leave."

no one said a word.

"great," steve nodded. "we're all on the same page."

"bullshit," you mumbled under your breath.

—

you were shown to your quarters of the compound, it was pretty secluded from everyone else. there was only one other room next to yours, and that was for bucky. you hadn't seen him since the meeting, so much for keeping an eye on you.

you finally had a moment to yourself, you sat alone in your room, the monitor around your ankle was heavy and flashing red. the layout of your room was quite similar to the one you used to occupy in the old stark tower. only, it had been stripped of any luxuries and was purely a bed, some sheets and a table with a lamp.

there was a knock on the door after a while that pulled you out of your thoughts. they didn't wait for a response before the entered. it was bucky.

"training in five," he mumbled, hand still resting on the handle as he barely looked at you. he met your eyes for a second before pulling away.

"how do you expect me to train when i haven't eaten in nearly two days and my clothes are basically torn to shreds," your tone was mean and if he had been paying attention he would notice how exhausted you were. but he hadn't.

"clothes are in the drawer over there," he pointed to the dresser in the corner of your room. "get dressed and we'll get food."

he left without another word.

you met him outside your room a couple minutes later, changed into clothes fit for training.

he looked you up and down before meeting your eyes. "i didn't think you ever did as you were told," his eyes were cold and unforgiving, ones you remembered well. you rolled your eyes.

"take me to the food," you grumbled. "you won't like me when i'm hangry."

"what? because you're such a doll when you're not?" he mumbled.

"shut up," too tired to think of a better comeback, you watched him carefully as his jaw bone twitched before rolling him eyes and turning to walk away. you followed behind him as he took you through the winding hallways and eventually through to the kitchen. it was empty. "where's everyone?"

"training," he had his back to you as he rummaged through the cupboards before re-emerging with a box of cereal. "where we should be— bowls are in the cupboard over there," he pointed to show you, before moving onto the fridge.

you grabbed a bowl and emptied the contents of the cereal box into it, before topping it up with the milk he had slid across the counter to you along with a spoon.

he waited impatiently as you ate half of the bowl before you came to a stop. "ok, done."

his eyebrows knitted into a frown. "finish it,"

"no, i'm good for now."

"you just said you haven't eaten for forty-eight hours, half a bowl of cereal isn't going to satisfy you," he argued pretty sternly.

"how would you know what satisfies me, barnes?" you leaned your elbows on the counter, quirking an eyebrow at him.

his expression was unwavering, rolling his eyes he threw a bottle of water at you, which you caught, before walking away muttering to himself under his breath about how you must be feeling better.

you scoffed out a laugh, he was far too easy to torment.

"c'mon," he called from over his shoulder. "i can't wait to kick your ass," he mumbled that part more to himself but you caught it.

—

"what was that about kicking my ass, barnes?" you teased as you blocked and ducked and countered every one of his hits. he grunted in response, taking a step back for a moment.

"i've been going easy on you, y/l/n," he shook his head. "i could go harder if you want."

"i always want it harder, barnes."

"god," he visibly retracted with a scowl. "why do you always have to make things dirty?"

"because it annoys your little 1940's brain cells," you smirked teasingly. "c'mon, give my ass a real kicking."

you ignored the death stares you were getting from the rest of the team as they sparred with their respective partners across the room. instead you focused on beating bucky at this one thing. and you would beat him.

you sparred for a while longer, neither of you getting anywhere with the other. you were a pretty good match for each other, even if neither of you would admit it to the other.

you blocked and countered, and he would catch your wrist and knock you off your feet only for you catch his ankles and bring him down with you.

he was breathing pretty heavy, a few stray, sweaty hairs falling over his face, cheeks pinks as they huffed and puffed. you were in a similar state, you used the back of your wrist to wipe away at the beads of sweat on your forehead, cheeks flushed, skin blotchy, hair messy.

"ok, that's enough for today," he finally caved, relaxing back against the floor, propping himself up with only his elbows. "we can continue tomorrow," you brought your knees up to your chest and hugged them close, you nodded, resting your head against your legs as you caught your breath. with you head hanging low, you missed bucky's stare lingering a little too long on you.

"you're pretty spritely for a hundred year old man, i'll give you that," you teased in between deep breaths.

bucky actually had to refrain from smiling at your comment, and instead masked it with a feigned look of annoyance, rolling his eyes. again.

you held your hand to your ribs where you felt a pang when you breathed too deep. you tried to disguise the pain, pushing yourself onto your feet again to grab your water. you gulped it down, trying to ignore the stitch growing in your abdomen.

"you'll make yourself sick if you drink too quickly," bucky tried to warn you but you waved him off. bucky rolled his eyes and walked away with a definitive fine then, leaving you alone.

you sat yourself down, letting your arms rest on your knees as your head hung down. you were beginning to catch your breath, but it wasn't easy with the pain in your chest.

you jolted back when you felt a hand touch your shoulder, shrugging it off quickly when you saw tony standing over you.

"take it easy, it's been a while since you've trained at this level and with this—"

"i'm fine," you cut his speech short. "no thanks to you," grabbing your water and leaving the training room quickly.

taglist: @caillouthebabywitch @alanis-altair @the-obelisk @seabass17 @bqnners @jihyunncho @inpraizeof

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heli0s-writes · 4 years ago

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Bucky Barnes with a whole ‘heart eyes muthafucker’ hoe phase for reader but reader’s lizard brain isn’t connecting the dots and instead is like “somebody come get your mans pls he has a really dumb puppy look on his face and i am concerned for his health”

A/N: 800 words of nonsense and 1 conversation about Cap’s erection. Crack. Spicy like a little red pepper flake.

Bag of Tricks one-shots

You’ve always had a sixth sense about things. When you were younger, your family and friends often thought it was an ability— but in truth, it’s just a mixture of careful perception, logical thinking, and educated guessing.

A little Sherlock Holmes kind of talent. Except less cocaine and no Watson.

Regardless, Tony calls it your reading.

“Hey, mind-reader, tell me if Cap’s gotten laid in the past year or not?”

Steve shifts uncomfortably across the room, and that’s all you need.

“He’s gotten it way more than you. Real wild stuff. The girls could barely take it, Tony.”

Steve flushes a shockingly bright crimson and hides his face in his palms.

“Shit!” Tony cries in disbelief, panicking before making his quick exit, hollering for Pepper down the hall.

“Jesus.” Beneath your stretched-out legs, Bucky bounces his knee and tugs on his jacket spread over your shoulders. His other hand flips the pages of a book, forearm rubbing lightly on your thigh.

“That was just one time…” Steve mutters embarrassed, and you hide your knowing smirk. You didn’t have to read anyone’s mind to predict that in the last eight months Captain America has gotten laid at least once-- and considering his rabid fanbase, someone has got to be into something kinky.

Truthfully, you think, Steve’s probably the kinky one. All that pent-up energy for the last 70 years has got to be... explosive. Under your gaze, he squirms and rearranges himself awkwardly.

“Well, I gave you a gift: now Tony thinks you’re packin’ and you lay pipe. Use it for evil, Rogers.”

“Jesus, fuck,” Bucky groans again, “What did we say about your choice of words around others?” He snaps the book shut and slaps your chest with it.

Unbothered, you turn back to Steve, who is trying desperately to communicate to Bucky with his eyes— sharp jerking motions, probably code for the manual on how to shut you up. Nah. There ain’t one.

“Steve…tell me the truth,” You ask slowly, “It’s big, isn’t it?”

“Okay!” Bucky yells, pushing you off the couch, “That’s enough of that. I’m going shooting.”

Landing on your shoulder with a grunt, you brush away the rough sting of the carpet and catch the last second of his shadow before he’s gone from the room.

“What?” You call, projecting your voice and hoping he hears, “What’d I do? Buck!”

The scape of the chair legs signals Steve standing up, too. A shake of his head and he crosses his arms over his chest.

“You know,” he starts, “For all your insight, you’re pretty dense.”

There’s nothing in your head but sawdust and thoughts about his... measurements. You shake it out of your brain before it lingers too long. Steve points sharply down the hall to where Bucky’s shadow has slipped out of view and hearing-distance.

“You know he likes you, right?”

Uh? Your brain is the mac loading wheel, just spinning. “Of course he does? We’re buddies?”

Steve cuffs you in the back of the head, “Get it together. Like is putting it lightly, too. Love is closer to the truth.”

Then, he saunters off, shaking his head all the while, leaving you to gape down the hall like a fish. Bucky? In love? With you?

Flashes explode in your brain like fireworks. His jacket over your shoulders—not the first time. Sitting underneath your legs— nearly tradition. Morning jogs even though he hates them. The banter—him, scolding your motor-mouth, you— never stopping. Circles he rubs on your knees— the laughter—damn it, so much laughter.

Bucky? In love? With you? It’s more likely than you think. And you just spent ten minutes talking about his best friend’s dick.

A gasp. A choke and a wail somewhere deep inside your chest and then you’re outta there.

“Buck!” You scream, tearing down the hallway. “Buck! Bucky! I’m sorry! Bucky oh my god! I’m a fuck up!”

You bang on the glass separating you from the cracks of his pistol and he turns slightly confused, one hand on the side of his earmuffs.

You must look a wreck, hair in disarray and panting hard, his jacket, half-on, half-off.

Bucky raises an eyebrow, blinks at the way the front is sliding from your shoulder and puts the gun down.

“You’re so stupid.”

An annoyed sigh before a sharp inhale takes its place. He peels his bomber off your back and throws it onto the floor. His mouth hasn’t left yours for anything other than to breathe.

His hands stop at the button of his jeans. The room is spinning— the entire world moving too fast in a feverish haze. Years of close-quartered friendship and the first intimate touch has jumped right into the deep end. You don’t even know when the two of you made way back into his room, but the door clicks shut with a kick from his foot.

“Hey, mind-reader, I got two questions for you.” Bucky calls impishly. “First, how big do you think I am?”

“Second…”

You gulp. Your legs feel like jelly— all the smart words in the entire world wiped completely from existence. The pause he takes is punishingly long and the grin he gives you nearly makes you faint.

“Do you think you can take it?”

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #ficlet #mcu #marvel #crackfic #ask

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astrophysicist-guitar-god · 3 years ago

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The closest I’ve seen Brian “dancing” is when Queen performed CLTCL on SNL in 1982, he was REALLY feeling the music when he went back in with the guitar after Freddie’s little “acapella” section!

Hey nonny! Sorry this sat in my inbox for so long. I suck. ;- p

But! I've reblogged gifs of the CLCL performance, but he's mostly just playing in those (the ones I’ve reblogged). Except!

The second one; he's playing, then wanders away with a little rhythmic head shake. Mostly. ;- ) I love him.

HOWEVER, I've reblogged gifs of Under Pressure, and my man is clearly feeling the music.

1) He's dancing! It's a Brian May "dance" but it counts. :-D The leg lift! Brian and his little leg lifts, hops, and skips continue to kill me. I guess when your legs are that long, you have to move them around a little more to get all the excess energy out. Featuring one of the May Power Stances [Bent Knee Edition] (TM) and several of the ever popular May Guitar Arm Flourishes (TM)

2) This set is great. Features several arm flourishes, the bent-knee edition of the power stance, and the May Leg Lift (TM). BONUS: Brian in the last gif, in the back, bopping from one side of the stage to the other (meeting up with Roger and Fred on that side). Every. Time. I. See. This. my heart explodes. I seriously love that lanky guitar playing wonder. With his floof and his nine foot legs...I love him.

#Brian May #my guitar god love #hmmmm...I thought I tagged the dancing discourse but apparently not?#what the hell even me .. get on the ball #nonny in my inbox #thanks nonny!#tagging it now dammit #dancing discourse

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goodgirlofglory · 4 years ago

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Three times Steve defended you, and one time you defended him / One-shot

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader

Word count: 5,5k

Warnings: 18+ content, Explicit sexual content, Explicit language, light descriptions of smut, light descriptions of injuries, light descriptions of violence, some description of blood, kind of slow burn but not really at all.

Summary: Three times during your initiation into the Avengers agents program where Steve came to your aid and defended you, and one time you defended Steve. Along the way you find each other.

Author’s note: This one has been a personal pleasure to write. I love thinking of Steve and Y/N as having a hank for banter with each other, at the same time as they appreciate and admire each other. I’m just a real sucker for respect, y’all<3 (Not been proofread by anyone but me, so all mistakes are mine)

Part 1

Fire was raining down around you, the blood pumping in your ears as fear and adrenaline coursed through your body.

You had told them it was far too early to bring you on a mission, but Steve had insisted after you’d done so well in training, quickly climbing the ranks despite being just a recruit.

Besides, this should have only been an intelligence gathering mission, in stealth, during a time of which no goons were supposed to be on the drug cartel base.

Clearly not, you thought as you crouched behind a pillar, bullets chipping away at the stone.

You could hear the fighting around you, but panic clouded your mind in a hazy fog so you couldn’t pinpoint where, your body stiff as you curled in on yourself.

This was all wrong. You were going to die on this hellish mission, and more horrifyingly, disappoint Steve, who’d put his trust in you.

Actual tears blurred your sight as you clutched the gun in your hand.

“There’s one left, he’s coming towards you, Y/N,” you heard Steve call through your earpiece

Then, through your tears you saw a figure peer around the corner, gun in hand.

You knew you needed to shoot him, but your body didn’t obey you.

You heard your name shouted as the goon pointed his gun toward you and the ear thrumming sound of the gunshot jolted your body. Your eyes shut tightly as you saw your life flash before you.

But the pain you expected didn’t come, and instead you heard the distinct zing of Captain America’s shield flying through the air. A few grunts followed before you tentatively opened your eyes.

The goon lay sprawled on the floor, lifeless, and before you Steve was kneeling, dressed in the stealth suit that made his baby blue eyes pop. He was looking at you with worried eyes.

“Y/N, are you alright?” he asked, breathing hard.

You nodded, about to answer when you noticed the bullet hole in his suit. Your hands shot out in panic, forcefully groping at his abdomen, going to apply pressure.

Oh no, oh no, oh no, not that

“Oh my god, Captain, no, no, no,” you rambled, thoughts racing, eyes wide.

He gently took your hands in his and caught your wild eyes with his, gentle and calm.

“Don’t worry. Bulletproof, remember,” he said, nodding calmly, and you nodded furiously, your mind trying to calm itself through your panic.

He smiled fondly at you, and you noticed how everything was silent around you, the fighting finally over. Then it hit you.

“Steve, you took the bullet for me!? You shouldn’t, you idiot! I-I’m just a recruit, I..” you rushed out, guilt screaming inside your head. If Captain America died on some pointless mission protecting you, some no-name recruit, you would never forgive yourself.

He was chuckling now, your hands still in his.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay. I think I know what I’m doing, I’ve been doing this for a while, ya’know,” he said, not sharing any of your worry, but looking profusely amused by it.

“Plus, I was the one who pressed you into this mission. I am responsible for you,” he added seriously, and your stomach flipped at the words. You tried to swallow the fluttering of butterflies.

He was your mentor and your trainer, nothing more, but his words still lingered on your mind for days.

Part 2

The earth-shattering explosion ripped you from your dreams of baby blue eyes, and a split second later, the floor gave out under you.

It took a moment to remember who the hell and where the hell you were.

It was in the middle of the night, and you’d been sleeping peacefully in the recruits lodging area of the compound, in the room you shared with four other girls.

You fell down, the floor crumbling and falling with you. The bed hit the floor beneath your level with a thud that had your head whipping backwards painfully. You had fallen down into the recruit sparring gym, empty at night.

The wooden bed split in half with a loud shriek, and you slumped down the crack, only cushioned by the mattress, your cover having been blown away by the force of the explosion.

Another searing jolt of pain shot through you as a heavy piece of concrete landed on your leg, and you screamed in pain. Above you, you heard your roommates shout your name, but the rumbling of the building verging on collapse was overwhelming and deafening.

“GET AWAY! GET OUT!” you shouted up at your friends, tears in your eyes now.

They disappeared and you tried with bloody hands to move the boulder. It wouldn’t bunch even a bit. Around you the whole building shook and rumbled. You could feel that it wasn’t long until it would crumble.

You realized you were stuck, bleeding and about to be crushed by a thousand tons of concrete.

“Y/N!” you heard a familiar voice from above shout.

Looking up at the hole in the ceiling above, you saw Steve standing, his shield on his arm.

You weakly protested as he jumped down, landing on the bed beside you, carefully avoiding the boulder pinning your ankle.

You could feel your mind blurring over in pain and shock, barely registering as Steve knelt down close, a warm and steady hand on your shoulder.

“Stay with me, Y/N, I’m gonna get you out of here,” he assured you hurriedly, his voice the most worried you’d ever heard him.

“Steve,” you sobbed, trying to reach out to him. He grabbed your hand in his, and in a move that was so surprising it snapped you back to consciousness, he kissed it. It was quick, barely there and kinda panicked, but you were sure he did it.

The deafening rumble of the building dying snapped you back to urgency.

“I’m sorry, this is gonna hurt,” he said as he released your hand and reached down to the boulder squeezing your leg. He heaved it off, and a scream ripped itself from your lungs.

He was quickly on you again, dragging you by the arm from where you lay squeezed between the two pieces of your cracked bed.

You wrapped your arm around his broad shoulder, noticing for the first time that he was shirtless, only wearing a pair of grey joggers and his shield, barefoot. He wrapped a strong arm around your waist, his body a soothing, warm presence against yours.

“Hold on,” he shouted as the ceiling cracked open, and then he was jumping through the window to your right, glass shattering around you.

You hurled through the chill, night air, Steve landing gracefully on his feet on the ground, one story below where you’d jumped out. Your feet dangling in the air, he held you close to his body as he ran across the lawn, and you heard the building crashing down behind you, the noise getting alarmingly close.

He threw a look back before stopping to a halt. Disposing you on the ground, you landed on your ass, looking up at his standing form. Behind him you saw a dust cloud charge at you. He kneeled down, holding his shield above his head as he curled you in against him with an arm around your shoulders.

He was shielding you with his naked upper body as the cloud enveloped you, and deep in your chest, through the shock and fear, astonishment and a whole lot of admiration bloomed.

You curled into his embrace, putting both hands up to support the shield as stray rocks and debris hit it.

You stayed like that for a while as the building settled in a collapsed ruin behind you, the dust cloud slowly dissolving. Your faces were so close, panting at each other, chests heaving. You remembered suddenly, you were only wearing a tiny tank top and panties, and despite the situation literally being a life or death matter, you blushed.

Steve put down his shield, throwing it on the ground as his arm released its grip around your shoulder.

You locked eyes with him, and in that moment he was everything. Tears of gratitude spilled forward as his hands held your shoulders, your own hands spread out on his naked chest, feeling his heart hammer against his ribcage.

“You saved me,” you whispered, “thank you. I don’t know how to thank you, Steve, you saved my life, ” you continued, whimpering.

“Are you alright? We need to get that leg looked at immediately,” he said, averting his eyes slightly, the tips of his ears pink. But that’s probably due to the exploding building, you reminded yourself.

As soon as he said it, the pain in your leg shot to the front of your brain, and you looked down to find a long, bleeding gash along the front of your ankle. You tried to move it and a startled, pained cry left your mouth.

Steve flinched at the sound, before quickly scooping you up, one arm under your knees and the other under your shoulder. You moaned in pain as he got to his feet.

“Your shield,” you said weakly as he started walking towards the compound again.

“It’s not important,” he said without a beat, catching your eyes in an intense look that had your heart fluttering.

You later found out Bruce Banner’s Hulk had caught him off guard as he’d worked in the lab two stories under the gym, which had led to the entire wing of recruit lodgings collapsing. There had been no casualties, though, miraculously - you and Steve being the closest.

Again he had saved your life, ridiculously risking his own in the process. You had thanked him over and over as they wheeled you into surgery, grabbing his hand and kissing it like he had yours, hoping he understood how grateful you were.

Your friends giggled as they huddled around your hospital bed. It was your eighth day in the med bay.

“You know he came straight to our room, right?” Helena said, giving you a giddy smirk.

“Oh come on, he was certainly checking on everybody,” you dismissed.

“No no, Dean said he saw him sprinting up the hall, barely even telling people to get out before he reached our room,” Sandy corrected, and the girls giggled again.

You were blushing profusely, trying so hard to fight the thought that Captain America, Steve Rogers had come specifically to check on you once there was danger. You were kind of a special protegé, as you’d earned the privilege of sparring with him one on one, but he had been nothing but professional towards you. Suffice to say, you didn’t feel like that justified him coming for you and only you in times of danger.

“Yeah, and I saw how he threw himself down that hole to you. Like nothing else mattered,” Cindy added dramatically.

“You guys, stop it, now you’re just hyping the story up to something it wasn’t,” you tried, but you were giggling with them. “Our room was at the end of the hall, closest to the lab. He probably just figured that was the part that would collapse first,” you added, forcing yourself to believe it.

“Oh well, I don’t know, he’s been here every day since you were admitted, right?” Sandy pushed, and now you were the one giggling, glancing at the flowers in the corner that he’d brought you the day before.

“Yes,” you admitted, “so you better scatter, for he usually comes around this time,” you told them pointedly, swatting Helena’s ass.

They kissed you on the cheek before skipping from the room, but you heard them greet “Captain” up the hallway.

Your heart fluttered as Steve Rogers appeared around the corner, smiling fondly as he let himself in.

Part 3

The music was loud, the room cheery and filled with talk and laughter.

Your recruitment was finally over, and you were officially agents-in-training, which was cause for a huge, fucking party.

Everyone was there, including several members of the Avengers. Natasha was sipping on a beer in the corner, surrounded by a crowd listening intently to a story she was telling.

Sam was playing pool across the room, crushing every guy that tried him on.

But most importantly, Steve was there, wearing a ridiculously gorgeous blue button up, the two buttons on the top undone, making your mind raise with promiscuity. You had finally bitten the bullet and admitted your feelings. To yourself, that was, and no one else.

Your eyes met three times over the crowd before he finally came over.

“Good evening,” he greeted you cheerfully.

“Hi,” you answered, suddenly all hot and bothered.

“Great party,” he said as he took a stand next to you, looking out on the sea of happy partiers, drunk off their asses.

“Yeah, I’m surprised you’re here. Isn’t Golden Girls having a rerun tonight?” you teased.

He looked at you with playful annoyance.

“Yeah, and I suppose it’s past your bedtime, young lady,” he answered and you threw your head back in a surprised laughter, not expecting him to banter back.

He was looking at you with a fond smile when your laughter turned to a giggle. A moment passed as you looked at each other, and you felt yourself glowing under his gaze.

“Did you get my flowers?” he asked then, and you blushed at his abruptness. You’d been nervous about bringing it up.

“Yeah, and you really don’t need to keep sending those. It’s been a while since I got out from the med bay now,” you said, trying not to reveal how flustered you were.

“I know, I know. I just seem to keep getting you in trouble,” he said, looking down at the beer in his hand.

“Steve, you’re the one who’s always saving me from trouble,” you said, putting your hand on his wrist to catch his attention again, “I hope you know how grateful I am,” you added, trying to convey how genuine you were.

His eyes met yours with such emotion, your breath caught in your throat. The room suddenly felt empty, the music fading to a lull.

You swore he inclined his head slightly before you abruptly removed your hand, straightening yourself. He snapped back to himself, clearing his throat awkwardly before looking around. You did as well, relieved when you saw no eyes on you. You did miss Natasha's knowing eyes peek at the two of you from the corner of the room.

“Excuse me,” you murmured as you stepped away, flustered, your heart hammering in your chest.

You found the balcony out from the party empty, the cold autumn air cooling your suddenly flushed skin.

Was he about to kiss you?!

You stood by the railing, enjoying the fresh air when you heard someone come out on the balcony. Your heart skipped a beat.

“What do we have here?” a slurring voice shouted, and your eyes rolled into the back of your head when you realized it was Jason, a fellow recruit from your year; mediocre fighter, arrogant asshat.

“And how are you tonight, Jason?” you asked, not bothering to mask your annoyance at his presence.

“Checking out the meat, sweetcheeks,” he answered, smugness dripping from his voice.

Before you managed to turn around and give him your best death stare, a hand reached up your bare thigh, pushing the flimsy black fabric of your minidress up. You yelped and spun around, smacking his hand away.

“Oh, don’t be like that, pretty girl. I know you were checking me out earlier,” he said, pouting sarcastically as he moved to pin you against the railing.

You squirmed at his intrusion into your personal space, mild shock settling like a sting in your chest. His breath stunk of booze, the rest of him of sweat and a nauseating amount of body spray.

“Jason, back off. I don’t know what you think you saw, but I’m not interested,” you tried to tell him authoritatively, but you sounded so small. This had never happened to you before, and your head swam with thoughts about what you should do.

“Then why are you looking so sexy tonight, teasing me in this little dress,” he said with a sneer, ignoring your discomfort completely.

You were about to lash out when a hand on his shoulder had him pausing, his hands trying to pull yours away from where they were covering your chest.

“She said back off,” you heard Steve say, and the tone of his voice told you he wasn’t pleased.

Jason chuckled bitterly, turning on stumbling feet to look up at Steve, towering above him with a scowl on his face. His expression sent a cold shiver down your spine. You had never seen him this angry before.

“Why don’t you back off and let a brother get some,” Jason answered, seemingly stupidly unaware of the deathly aura emitting from Steve’s looming form.

“I’m only going to say this once: Get lost or you’re out,” Steve said, stare cold as ice, tone dead serious.

Jason seemed to get it then, and with a pathetic huff, he scurried away.

“Whatever,” you heard him mutter as he entered the party again. A few eyes from inside were on you, paying attention to the perceived standoff happening between a simple recruit and THE Captain America. Over you.

You released the breath you were holding as soon as the door slid closed behind Jason, and Steve’s expression softened to one of mild concern.

“You okay?” he asked, and you could barely look in his eyes as you collected yourself.

“Yeah. Thanks, Steve. I could have taken him though,” you tried to lie. Steve let you keep the lie.

“I don’t doubt it, but somehow it didn’t feel right that you should,” he said gravely.

“Maybe, but that’s life,” you stated.

“Well, not when I’m around,” he answered after a moment, and you lifted your eyes to his. They shone with something akin to protection, and you felt warm again under his gaze.

“You wanna get back to the party?” he asked, breaking the building tension. The air seemed so intense between you two tonight, sizzling with something new.

“No, actually, I think I wanna turn in. Kinda tired,” you excused, but really you were burning inside from a new found hunger for Steve you knew you couldn’t keep in check much longer.

He nodded, biting his lip slightly.

“Walk you back to your room? I don't like the way Jason looked at you,” he said, voice heavy with suspicion, and before you could think, you nodded.

You were sort of panicking as you trekked the empty hallways together. Everyone had seen you leave together, and you were sweating bullets as you walked in silence, Steve’s broad figure a sizzling presence to your left.

He kept the smalltalk sweet and light, and you knew you were being irrationally nervous.

Outside your new dormroom, the tension grew thick again.

You bit your lip, looking up at Steve as he bid you goodnight with a charming smile.

“Eh, Steve,” you called out as he turned to walk away.

He turned back with a quizzical look.

You stepped up to him, and he seemed acutely aware of your presence as you came close, your hands landing tentatively on his forearms as they hung at his side.

“What’re you…?” he started, but trailed off when he looked into your eyes.

You inclined your head slightly, not even knowing what you were doing anymore.

He inclined his head just the tiniest bit in response, and then you were both leaning in.

Your lips met in a gentle, tiny kiss, your eyes falling shut as the breath was stolen from your lungs.

He was actually kissing you.

Slowly, so slowly, his hands reached up to cup your face, and then we was deepening the kiss, pulling you flush against him.

A small sound escaped you as his tongue swept into your mouth, mingling eagerly with your own. He pulled his lips away suddenly, but kept your face in his hands as his eyes scanned yours.

“Is this alright?” he asked intently, but he was panting, and his eyes were blown so far there was only a small rim of light blue around the pools of black.

“Yes. God, Steve, yes,” you panted, hands coming up to clutch the shirt on either side of his torso, twisting the fabric with desperate hands. “You have no idea how much I’ve thought about this,” you added despite embarrassment burning on your face at the confession.

“Glad I’m not the only one,” he chuckled against your lips.

He was back on you in a split second, and you stumbled into your room in a fierce liplock. You suddenly remembered what a mess you’d left your room in earlier as you’d tried on everything you owned before the party. Plus, you still lived with four other girls, but they were thankfully still at the party, and judging by your knowledge of them, they probably would be for hours still.

You straddled Steve’s lap hurriedly when you’d led him to your bed, and he kissed his way down your neck as you fumbled to undo his shirt, longing for his bare skin. The last time you’d felt it, a building had fallen on your ass, so you hadn’t really taken the time to relish it, though it had been at the back of your mind ever since.

He fucked you sweetly that night, and then roughly, and then sweetly again as you took a shower, going down on you as he knelt between your legs.

You’d never felt such pleasure before, Steve plucking orgasm after orgasm from your body with deft fingers and a wicked tongue, before his honest to god thick as fuck cock fucked you raw. He sounded like a god when he groaned his release. You were sprawled out limp on the bed by the time he pulled his clothes back on with a quirk in his step, looking at his watch a bit nervously.

“Should probably get out of your hair before your girlfriends return,” he said, bending over your spent form, giving you a sweet peck on the lips. You gripped his hand as he straightened, and pulled him down again to devour his lips with your own possessively. He hummed appreciatively in response.

“What if I told you I never want you to leave?” you asked against his lips, knowing you were pushing your luck.

“Then your poor friends would never get any sleep, and neither would you, missy,” he said matter-of-factly, booping your nose with his finger as he tore himself from your grip. Your core clenched at the notion.

Then he looked at you, and you could see the wheels turning in his brain.

“What?” you asked.

He glanced at the door before he sat on the edge of the bed, a hand coming up to lovingly stroke your cheek. You hummed at the touch.

“Are you sure about this? It isn’t forbidden, so we won’t get in trouble. But I’m afraid the rumours can be pretty bad around here. It won’t exactly be easy,” he said mournfully, and you knew he expected a rejection.

You sat up and grabbed his hand in yours.

“Fuck what anybody else says. I’m sure, Steve. I adore you, and I want you by my side from this day on,” you said. The shining, relieved devotion in Steve’s eyes was all you needed to be sure of your choice. Not that there ever was a choice.

You’d go to the ends of the earth for the man.

Your phone buzzed on your nightstand, and you peeked over at it.

“Coming back now. You better get loverboy outta there ;)” the text message from Helena read. The girls were gonna have a field day with this.

“Except for now. The girls are coming back, you better go,” you said as you pecked him once on the lips before pushing him off the bed.

He huffed an amused laughter, looking back over his shoulder one last time as he slipped from the room.

Part 4

“Hey, what did you just say?” you called out at him as he sauntered away.

“Y/N, don’t, it’s not worth it,” Steve said tiredly, trying with a gentle arm to turn you away.

You swatted softly at his hand and looked in his eyes. You were fuming, and his grave expression only fueled your fury. You could see Jason’s words had gotten to him, and that made you see red.

“Steve, I won’t let him talk to you that way,” you said lowly before taking a few steps forward.

“Why don’t you repeat yourself, Jason. We all know how much you like to hear yourself talk,” you called at him. He paused. Of course he would, you knew which buttons to push.

There had gathered a crowd around you now, mostly recruits from your own year, but also some from the year below, plus an odd officer here and there. In the far distance you spotted Natasha Romanoff sipping on a coffee mug as she leaned on a pillar.

He turned around with that ugly smirk. “I’m not sure you can handle it, Y/N,” he called back.

“No, come on, I wanna hear you say it again.“

He started sauntering back, arrogant ass fuming with cockiness.

“I said; the old man goes for the recruit. That’s what happens when the only pussy he could get is a hundred years old and dead,” he repeated, puncturing every word with a tone he would use for a child, seething with his arrogance.

“I’d rather have an old man than a boy, Jason. Funny how you come down on Captain Rogers when you haven’t gotten laid one, single time since we started. How many of us are there? 3000? Well, it does make sense, I mean, look at you,” you said, hearing the crowd around you gasp and “oooh” quietly.

Oh, you were just getting started.

A flicker of self-doubt flashed behind his eyes and you revelled, adrenaline flooding your system. In truth, Jason was a pretty easy target. Just tackle his weak masculinity and give him a taste of his own medicine, and he would crumble easily.

“But that’s not why no one likes you, Jason. It’s because you act like a child. A child who hasn’t gotten his candy, and is throwing a tantrum in the grocery store for everyone to see. And it’s not that we don’t feel bad for you either, Jason. We pity you in fact, as we witness you embarrassing yourself and your mother,” you stated calm and slow, walking up to him, standing a few inches away now.

He tried to speak up, but you easily interrupted him.

“And I get it, it must feel kinda bad to realise no one respects you. Not your peers, not your superiors, not even those inferior to you. Because we all see through this display for failing masculinity,” you continued, gesturing to him vaguely.

He was about a foot taller than you, but had steadily shrunk in on himself as a mortified panic settled in his eyes, fists clenching at his side.

You stepped to the side and stretched out an arm towards Steve, who stood where you’d left him, brows furrowed, arms crossed over his chest, a neutral expression of his face.

“That is a man, Jason, and quite frankly, the opposite of everything you are. Now I know you suffer from the extreme lack of balls, but I actually had no idea you lacked brains also. Because if you had the cognitive ability above a fucking cockroach, you would see that man as the ally and mentor he so gladly offers to be - not that you deserve it - and you wouldn’t be in this situation.” You patted his shoulder twice with your hand before stepping away.

Your senses tingled suddenly, and you dodged the swing of his arm as it came from the left. The crowd around you gasped.

Oh no, he didn’t. Did he really think he could take you on after having trained personally with Captain fucking America? He wouldn't catch you off guard again…

You spun around, dodged his right arm, and gave him a clear slap across the cheek with a flat hand. The smack was crisp, making the crowd around you draw in a collective breath. He grunted and swung again, keeping up the same, predictable move. You dodged easily, spun around him and gave him another slap, this time on his ass. The crowd laughed. He gave a pathetic roar before spinning and lunging on you. You bowed and flipped him easily using your back, and he landed with a hard dunk on the concrete floor of the hallway. Getting up to his knees, you gave him a closed fist punch across the face for your own enjoyment (you knew Steve would reprimand you later for being unnecessarily callous).

That’ll do it for now, you thought as you quickly immobilized him by tripping him over on his stomach on the floor, straddling his ass and pinning his arms on his back. He groaned in frustration as you kept him in the tight grip, not relenting. The crowd around you cheered, and peering over your shoulder you could see the clear amusement shining in Steve’s eyes, along with his pride. You almost giggled.

Bending down, you whispered in Jason's ear.

“Cause if you keep up this little class-act caveman thing, this is all you’re gonna see for the rest of your life. Disgust on the faces of the women in your life, and pity on the men’s. Now kindly fuck off, Jason, I’m tired of looking at your face.”

You let him go and he grunted weakly at you.

Deciding this was your mic drop, you returned to Steve and you fell into step as you resumed your walk up the hallway. Steve let you lead in your victory as the crowd kept cheering loudly behind you. It was exhilarating, but what felt best was knowing you had defended Steve for once.

As you rounded the corner at the other end, Steve abruptly and quickly pushed you up against the wall, his mouth attacking yours. You yelped into his mouth, but melted into his body as it pinned you to the wall. He pushed his thigh between yours and you felt the rock hard bulge in his pants press against your belly. He was frantic as his hands roamed your body, possessive and hungry.

You broke the kiss in amazement, seeing his lust blown eyes.

“Did you like that?” you asked, and you knew you had the most doofy smile on your face.

“That was amazing,” Steve said, panting a bit from his kiss. “I had to fight myself to not take you then and there, God, you’re so fucking sexy when you’re fiesty,” he said, admiration and lust clear in his voice and you bit your lip as his words sent sharp sparks of arousal down below.

“You know I was right. He’s a man-child, and a dick, and has nothing on you,” you said, needing to know Steve wouldn’t take what he said to heart.

“I mean, there’s a reason I didn’t break it off. The guy has had it coming for a long time, I’m just glad I got to watch,” he chuckled, and you laughed with him, still pinned between his body and the wall, your hands running up his back.

“And because it was me, right?” you asked teasingly, a hand coming down to cup the prominent tent in his pants.

“Yes, but strictly for pedagogical reasons. I needed to see if you’ve mastered the tricks I’ve taught you,” he said, trying to be nonchalant and failing as the last words ended in a groan. You were moving your hand steadily over the bulge now, eliciting soft pants from the man.

“I want your feedback on some tricks in the bedroom, Captain Rogers. Could you oblige me?” you asked, giving his chin a lithe kiss.

He groaned deep in his chest, and for a split second you actually got nervous someone would find you if he kept those noises up.

“Lead the way,” he whispered against your lips.

You did, almost running.

Author’s note: God, this one cheers me up. It was exhilarating to be able to live out my childhood dream of beating up bullies through this text lmao. Sorry if your name’s Jason lol<3

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x Y/N #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x you

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selfindulgentpoorlywritten · 3 years ago

Text

It’s You (Nico Hischier Imagine)

Y’all, I’ve been so busy lately! I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve posted, but hopefully this and the Matty imagine coming soon will make up for it :)

Rating: G

Pairing: Nico Hischier/fem!reader

Words: 3047

Warnings: minor language

Requested: yes/no

Prompt: “It’s you. It’s always been you.”

Summary: “ Nico Hischier, fluff prompt 2, and the couple trope where they’re both dense af and don’t realize how cute they are together. The third wheelers that wanna smack their foreheads? Nico’s entire team. “

Knowing that you’re in love with someone is different than accepting that you’re in love with someone.

You’ve known that you love Nico for years. It wasn’t anything special that made you realize, really. It was during one of your semi-regular movie nights, when he was tossing popcorn into the air, trying to catch it in his mouth. He hit himself in the eye with a piece, and you’d laughed at him so hard that he shoved his cold feet under your leg in retaliation, and as you yelped in shock, it had hit you. You never wanted to hear anything but his laugh ever again, and you’d suffer worse than some cold feet for that.

It wasn’t until last year that you truly understood how far gone you are for him, and actually accepted what being in love with him meant. Despite being annoyingly sure that you and Nico were meant to be together, your friends had tried to set you up with someone. Their reasoning was that you hadn’t made a move, and probably never would, so they decided you needed to meet someone else to get over him. It was the second blind date when you realized that as well as you meshed with the guy, all you wanted was to be at Nico’s place watching some stupid show cuddled up on the couch. You didn’t want anyone else, and you never would.

That was the part that scared you at first. You’re never going to love anyone like you love Nico, and you didn’t have any desire to try. He’s everything you want, and the only thing you want. And he would never want you back. The prospect of a life without romantic love was terrifying, but after a month of near-constant panic, you were able to accept it. You have friends, and so much in your life that makes you happy, and that will be enough. You’re not excited to see him fall in love with someone else and get married and start a family, but having him in your life is enough. It’s enough. It’s enough.

You wonder sometimes, though. When he turns down invitations from the guys to spend time with you, when he holds you close on the couch, when he curls up next to you in bed after a bad game. The wondering is the worst part. You know he doesn’t feel the same as you, that they’re just best friend things, but sometimes you can’t help but to let yourself believe in the possibility.

The guys used to tease the two of you about “being in love”, but in the past year or so, it’s started seeming less teasing and more genuine. Frustrated, even. Between the guys and your friends, it seems like everyone thinks you should be together. That’s the second worst part.

Today, Nico has saved you a ticket for the game, since you can actually make it after work. When he’d gotten the captaincy, he’d gotten you a new jersey with the C on it, so you wear it to the game over your favorite sweater. A few of the WAGs came as well, and you’re excited to catch up with them. They’d adopted you as an honorary WAG a couple years back, considering how close you are with Nico.

The first period goes well, Nico scoring a beautiful wrister six minutes in. He looks up to where he knows you’re sitting after collecting his fist-bumps, though you’re sure he can’t really see you.

The second period is a little rougher, the Rangers scoring two goals, separated by a tip-in from Nico. He looks to your section again, and it makes you smile every time. Having him on hatty watch is exciting, and the game is dynamic enough that you’re cheering maybe a little too hard to be respectable. Luckily, the girls think it’s endearing, and know to expect it from you.

During second intermission, you chat with Nicole. She’s still beaming with pride from Travis’s thousandth game the other day, and you love to see it. She asks you about work and family and Nico, the conversation casual and comfortable. The only thing that bothers you is the way she looks at you as you talk about Nico, smile small and gentle, eyes almost pitying. The other girls still occasionally urged you to make a move on Nico, but Nicole had stopped around the time that you accepted your love for him. Now she just looks a little bittersweet when you bring him up. It’s kind of annoying, honestly. But she’s your friend, and she means well, so you don’t mind too much.

The third period is dynamic, the puck flying between zones, both teams feeling the pressure of the impending end of the game. The atmosphere in the arena is electric, everyone shouting and leaning forward in their seats, enraptured by the action. Because of the way the team has been struggling in the past few years, most of the Devils fans that are left are the die-hards, and it shows in the passion filling the Pru.

It’s looking like they’re going to go into overtime, the score still tied with only two minutes left in the game. Neither team pulls their goalie, probably trying for overtime so that they get at least one point. At 1:47, Nico gets a breakaway, and you jump out of your seat along with the rest of the crowd, throwing a fist into the air and cheering at the top of your lungs. Nico reaches Georgeiv, fakes a five-hole shot, and when Georgeiv hits the ground to block it, Nico flicks the puck up toward the top shelf. Georgeiv flings his glove up to catch it, but he’s just a moment too late. The puck hits the top left twine, coming to rest in the back corner of the goal.

The arena explodes.

Your hands are in the air as you jump around, screaming in unfettered joy. Even the WAGs are shouting, the shot beautiful and coming just in time. Nico collects his fist-bumps, then looks toward your seat yet again. But this time, he points toward your section, and you’re sure he’s pointing to you. You place a hand over your heart, the other clenched in a fist in the air. The pride is overwhelming.

The last minute and a half are a desperate rush of the Rangers trying to even the score back out, and the Devils doing all they can to keep their lead. Kreider, Zibanejad, and Buchnevich make a fantastic first line, and they’re doing a great job of bringing the puck into the Devils’ zone over and over, but Ty and Damon are on fire, clearing the puck every time it’s brought in. When the buzzer sounds, you and Nicole hug, excited to see your boys succeeding.

Nico will have to talk to the media for sure, considering his hat trick, in addition to the cool down, game debrief, and getting changed. It adds to the time you’ll have to wait before you see him, but you’re so happy for him that it doesn’t even faze you. He was amazing, and you’re looking forward to having a late dinner and cuddle session with him.

After a moment of consideration, you resolve to make him his favorite post-game meal. That means you’ll have to stop at the store, so you decide to forego meeting him outside the locker room in favor of grabbing the ingredients and getting the food started. You have a key to his apartment anyway, and the doorman knows you, so you don’t have to wait for him to let you in.

You stop at Shoprite on your way to his place, grabbing everything you need, along with some snacks to stock his pantry. He forgets to keep them in the house sometimes, so you like to make sure he has something to nosh on when he doesn’t feel like cooking. When you get to his complex, the doorman greets you happily.

“Roger!” you greet in return, giving him a quick hug, “It’s great to see you. How’s the family?” The two of you chat for a few minutes, catching up since you have a bit of time. He lets you into the building, and you take the elevator up to Nico’s floor. You unlock the door and drop your keys and bag on the table in the entryway. After dumping the grocery bags on the counter, you put on some music and start unpacking.

You stash the snacks in the upper cabinets, setting aside the things you need now. You set to work, singing along to the music as you cook. There’s a lull while you let the chicken cook, so you check your phone. You’d sent Nico a text before you left, letting him know you’d meet him at home, so you wanted to make sure he saw it. He’d sent back a thumbs-up, so you don’t have to call him. You have a couple notifications, and a text from Nicole. After checking the notifications and replying to a snapchat from your friend, you open Nicole’s message. It’s just a link, so you tap into it, and a video pops up. It’s Nico’s post-game interview. You don’t usually watch them, because he tells you about the game afterward anyway, but if Nicole sent it, there must be something special about it.

The pride on his face brings a smile to yours. You listen to him give some pretty standard answers to some pretty standard questions, waiting for whatever made Nicole see fit to send it to you. The reporter asks about his hat trick, and the flush on Nico’s face grows. He’s so damn cute.

“Well,” he begins, huffs half of a laugh, continues, “There was a special girl in the audience, so I wanted to do something special for her.”

“Oh, trying to impress somebody?” the reporter asks, the smile evident in her voice.

“Yeah,” Nico replies, clearly embarrassed, “She’s the most important person in my life, so…” He trails off at the end, but the intent is clear.

Your heart stops.

It’s unbelievable, what you’ve just heard, and it’s inconceivable that it could be about you. You try your best to think of everyone who was in the family and friends section, anyone in Nico’s life that he could be talking about. You were the only one there for him tonight, unless someone else was in a different section. You try as hard as you can, but you can’t think of anyone that Nico’s talked about lately that he could be interested in. You try to convince yourself that there’s someone he hasn’t told you about, but you tell each other everything. If there was someone, he would have told you.

Shit.

You want to call him, ask him what the hell that was, hear him tell you that it was for someone else. You’d already accepted that you’d never be together, that you’d never have love, and the possibility of your greatest desire being obtainable throws you off so hard that you have to take a moment to lean on the counter and breathe.

You manage to resist the urge to call him, knowing that he’ll be home soon anyway. If you keep focusing on the interview, you’ll have a panic attack, so you force all of your attention to finishing the food. The chicken is still cooking, and usually you’d just let it sit, but this time you’re spooning the sauce over it with very intentional focus. Anything to keep yourself stable.

Once you’re sure it’s cooked through, you turn the heat off. The broccoli is already done, but the rice takes another minute to finish. You plate the sides next to each other on the dishes, placing the chicken on the bed of rice and dousing it in the rest of the sauce. The sauce is Nico’s favorite part, so you make sure to give him extra.

Once the plates are set on the coffee table in the living room, you hear the doorknob turn. Your heart skips another beat, and you take a deep breath to settle yourself. He calls your name as he comes in, and you swallow hard so that you can tell him you’re there without your voice cracking. He rounds the corner and walks straight to you, wrapping you up in his arms. You hug him back, face buried in his neck. You know that you’re tense, and that he’ll probably notice, but you hope that he doesn’t ask about it.

Luckily, he only gives you a worried look. You smile back instead, and you can feel how fake it looks. To avoid the question, you start asking him about the game, leading him over to the couch to sit and eat. Nico stops when he sees the meal, a soft look overtaking his face. He always got soft and sentimental when you did thoughtful things for him, and his appreciation brings a real smile to your face. Your heart settles in your chest, and you remind yourself that this is Nico. At the end of the day, this is Nico, and he’s your best friend, for better or worse. There’s no reason to be afraid; there’s never a reason to be afraid around him.

You turn on the TV, navigating through until you can start the episode of The Good Place that you’d left off on. Even as you eat, you take pauses to make small comments about the show. Nico laughs at all of them, even if they’re not that funny. Once you’re both finished eating, you pause the show and take the dishes into the kitchen. Nico trails behind you, slipping between you and the sink at the last moment, close enough that you bump into him.

“You cooked, I wash,” he says on the tail end of a laugh.

“Then at least let me dry,” you reply, smile shining through your voice. He gives an over-dramatic sigh and an “I guess” before his smile returns. You bump your shoulders together and grab the towel off of the drying rack. Nico has a dishwasher, but you always wash the dishes by hand when you eat dinner together. It’s just a little tradition at this point, a way to spend a quiet moment together, to extend the time you stay. To increase the chance of you just staying over. Well, it’s not really a necessary motivation any more, but it is a handy excuse.

As Nico starts the water and soaps the sponge, you turn on the bluetooth speaker at home on the island and choose some chill music. There’s just something about this time together that always gives you a special feeling, something that you don’t get anywhere else. Something that relaxes your shoulders, softens your jaw, turns the edges of your lips up just enough that you realize your face has been resting in a frown all day. Your life is perfectly fine, but being with Nico makes you realize that it could be better. That you deserve better. That as long as he’s by your side, you have better.

Washing the dishes is calming, silent save for the clink of the silverware and the soft melody floating from the speaker. Once all the dishes are dried and back in the cabinets, Nico steps into your space, resting his hands on your waist. It takes the breath from your lungs, until he starts swaying you and you realize you’re dancing.

Your hands had landed on the curve of his shoulders without your conscious decision, thumbs gently propped along the tendons on either side of his throat. It feels too intimate that way, so you move them to join behind his neck instead. The more traditional position is less uncomfortable, both physically and emotionally.

You have no idea what song is playing now, too caught up in the weight of his hands, the baby hairs at the base of his skull running between your fingers, the unbearably fond look in his eyes. He’s looking at you like he’s just as happy to have this as you are, like there’s nowhere he’d rather be. Like he loves you.

“I saw the interview,” you say, not meaning for the words to slip out. You knew that it would ruin the mood, but you had to know. You had to know.

“Oh, um,” Nico stutters to a stop, though he doesn’t remove his hands from your hips. He tightens them, actually. No matter how much you want to cup your hand around the curve of his jaw, you leave them where they are. You don’t want to assume, just to embarrass yourself later.

Waiting patiently, you keep an eye on Nico’s face. He’s cycling through so many emotions that it’s difficult to catch them all. His face has gone pink, cheeks nearly glowing as they continue to redden while he thinks. You give him as much time as you can bear.

“Who were you talking about, Nico?” you ask, needing him to say it. You need to hear him say it. His breathing has gone a bit ragged, and he takes a gulp of air to steady himself. His cheeks are still bright red, and it somehow makes him even more beautiful.

“You,” he says simply, eyes locked on your own.

Your heart stops.

“Yeah?” you ask, the barest hint of a smile starting. Nico ducks his head for just a moment, huffing a laugh before angling back up to look at you again, eyes soft instead of determined.

“It’s you,” he replies, “It’s always been you.” Your breath catches in your throat as he says the words you’ve been dying both to hear and to say. It’s you. It’s all for you.

“Well, that’s convenient,” your smile is blooming wide, “Because it’s always been you, too.” Nico’s face springs into a bright grin, and you let your hands come to his face. Your fingertips wrap below his jaw, your thumbs resting on his cheekbones.

“You should kiss me now,” you say, pulling a dazzling laugh from him. He leans down, pressing your lips together in what you hope will be the first kiss of many.

#nico hischer imagine #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #RI #andis coping mechanism #nhischier

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wefoundloveunderthelight · 3 years ago

Text

Mystery Of Pixie Hollow by GleefullyCaptainSwan - Sneak Peek

Chapter 3/11

Read on AO3: | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Or on FF

Stacy's Tortured Crew: @teamhook @kmomof4 @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @ilovemesomekillianjones @itsfabianadocarmo @mariakov81 @qualitycoffeethings @zaharadessert @jrob64 @jonesfandomfanatic @natascha-ronin @tiganasummertree @xarandomdreamx @therooksshiningknight @batana54 @superchocovian @onceratheart18 @ultraluckycatnd @snowbellewells @karlyfr13s @the-darkdragonfly @xsajx @deckerstarblanche @jonesfandomfanatic @winterbaby89

Chapter 3: Story Time

“I asked who you are, and you have yet to give me a name.” He growled again in her ear.

“My name’s Emma Swan. I just want to talk to you about your daughter.”

“What do you know about my daughter?”

“I know she went missing just like my son, Henry.” She felt his entire body flinch. “Please, right jacket pocket, there’s a picture of him. I just want to talk.”

She felt him dig into her jacket, pulling the photo free and stepping away from her. He stared at the picture, a frown slipping on his stubbled face. “How old is he?”

“He’s six. He went missing on his birthday a few days ago.”

He was waving the knife around, tucking it under his chin as he talked to himself. “It’s the appropriate age range…makes sense…hmm...few days ago…where were they…went North…” He stopped moving and stared at her. “Storybrooke, not again...”

“I’m sorry?”

“They were in Storybrooke last weekend, correct? The carnival.”

“That’s right, how did you know that?”

“I track their movements, keep an eye on where they go, look up any missing person reports after they leave.” He stepped into the boat, gesturing for her to join him. Emma stood nervously on the pier as he disappeared into the belly of the boat. She looked around at the empty pier. If she went missing now, no one would have any idea where she was.

Shit.

He poked his head up through the stairwell. “Are you coming or not, lass?”

She sighed, stepping onto the boat, and following him cautiously down the stairs. When she got to the bottom she gasped. In every direction she could see there were photos on the wall with string connecting them. It was like an art project had exploded in the small area, except it wasn’t art, it was some low-tech stalking shit if she ever saw it.

She knew she should turn around and get the hell of this man’s boat, but curiosity was eating at her. What did he know? Why was he so obsessed with the people on the walls?

“This is where I started doing my research, Alice, she went missing five years ago. We found Pixie Hollow just walking through the neighborhood and Alice loves fairytales, so she just had to go.” His voice trailed off sadly, as if he didn’t even remember she was in the room and then suddenly he spun around on his heels. “This one went missing shortly after, it’s harder for me to get information on anyone that disappeared before Alice, I tried, but my research skills aren’t that great. I hate computers, Alice always did everything…” He trailed off as he turned around again.

“You can see that they all fit the age range, around 5 to 8 years old usually.”

“You’ve been collecting all of this information for 5 years?” She finally spoke.

“I’ve had to be resourceful; the cops are useless.”

“Tell me about it.” She said with a snort.

He turned around and stared at her. “Where did he go missing at?”

“I told you, Storybrooke.”

“No, what attraction?”

“It was a mirror maze, you know, filled with mirrors, can’t find your way out.”

“Mirrors…that’s a new one. Alice, she went missing from the Jolly Roger Adventure ride, she got in the cart, she was only in for a few minutes, but when it came out the other side, she was no longer there. Vanished.”

“I don’t remember that ride being there.”

“I’m sure they change them out to avoid suspicion, just like the name. When we went, it was called Neverland Adventure Park. I believe they go by Pixie Hollow now.”

“How do you know it’s the same park?”

“You have to follow the money, love.” He said with a smirk. “And this one.” He turned toward the board on his wall. “She’s always with them.”

“Who’s that?” She stepped closer to the photo of a woman with short hair, wild eyes.

“That’s Tink. If the park opens near you, she’s sure to be found nearby.”

“Wait, like Tinkerbell?” She laughed.

“The one and only.”

“This is ridiculous. Next you’re going to tell me Peter Pan owns the place, and all his lost boys operate the rides.”

“Well done. You’re quite perceptive love, there doesn’t seem to be any reason to need to tell you.”

Her mouth dropped. “You’re insane.”

“Ouch, you wound a man, I can assure you I have my wits about me.”

She turned to leave. “I just want to find my kid, I’m not here to play pretend with a man who believes in fairytales.” He reached out and grabbed her by the wrist.

“I can assure you love; this is no fairytale; this is the stuff nightmares are made of. Pan is dangerous, and if he has your boy, you best start believing in him.”

She shook her head and pulled her hand away from him, turning to leave before something caught her eye near the stairs. She stepped closer to the photo. “I know this idiot.”

She felt him hover behind her, his breath at her neck. “That’s Felix. Real jackass that one.”

“He’s the assistant manager at Pixie Hollow.” The idiot who told her that Henry must have run away. He was there. No. Emma closed her eyes. This was insane. “I have to leave.”

“This isn’t some fantasy I’ve made up, Swan. It’s all real.” He called after her, letting her run up the stairs and away from the boat. “It’s all real.” She heard him shout as her feet hit the pier and she hurried back to her car, slamming the door shut behind her.

She tried to slow her breathing, the thought that perhaps what she had witnessed was just an elaborate nightmare and soon she would wake up in her bed and Henry would come bounding into her room and everything would be alright but as she drove home that night, thoughts of what she witnessed in that boat, she knew that no matter how crazy he seemed, the man was just desperate to find his kid.

Henry had only been missing for a few days, Killian’s daughter had been gone for 5 years. She wasn’t sure how crazy she would look if she hadn’t found Henry after that long of a time.

She stopped at a station when she was halfway to home, she filled up the bug and bought some snacks to eat on her way. She was starving and realized that she had skipped eating since she left her home that morning. As she stepped into the light, leaving the gas station behind her, she recognized a black car that she swore she saw parked outside Ashley’s house.

The sunlight gleamed across the front window for a moment and Emma walked casually to her car, she opened her door and sat in the front seat. Glancing over at the black car she saw movement in the front seat. She pulled out of the gas station, turning onto the road as she watched the black car behind her do the same.

Whoever this asshole was, they were definitely following her.

Emma drove a few miles until she spotted a convenience store on her left, turning quickly she dashed into the parking lot and parked her car. The black car squealed to turn into the lot, parking a distance away from her. Emma watched it in her rearview mirror and then swung her car open, grabbing the tire iron next to her on the seat.

She marched toward the car, gripping the tire iron in her hand. As soon as she got close to the vehicle, the door opened, and Officer Nolan stepped out of the car with his hands in front of him. “Hello Emma.”

“Are you fucking following me?” She yelled as she lowered the tire iron.

The passenger door opened, and Officer Locksley stepped out, his hand firmly on his hip where she knew his gun sat.

“We weren’t following you…” He said and Emma rolled her eyes.

“Are you kidding me? I spotted you miles ago, are you really going to try and convince me that we all just really had a hankering for some snacks miles away from town?”

“Well, we weren’t following you earlier, we just…” Officer Locksley started before his partner interrupted.

“We were following Killian, so imagine our surprise when you showed up.”

“Jones? Why are you following him? He’s just some nut on a boat.”

“You need to let us do our job, stay away from Killian Jones.”

“Why, what aren’t you telling me?”

“Look, I can’t get into specifics with you. I get it, you’re desperate.” Officer Nolan began and Emma found herself wanting to toss the tire iron at him. He flinched and held up his hand. “I’m sorry your kid hasn’t come home, but this isn’t the way to find him. Jones isn’t all there.” He said pointing to his head. “His daughter’s been gone for a long time now; we’ve been keeping tabs on him.”

“Why? I’m pretty sure you’re outside your jurisdiction.” She said with a laugh. “Why are you so obsessed with the guy.”

“Alice went missing in Storybrooke five years ago. He moved out here after a while, but we’ve always kept tabs on him. He was in and out of shelters with that little girl. Working as a fisherman with men he never should have trusted around his daughter. He’s dangerous, stay away from him.”

“Wow, judgmental much? So, if you’ve ever had the unfortunate experience of not being able to provide for yourself, of needing to ask for help somehow that makes you a bad person? Is that why you don’t believe someone took my son either? You looked me up and don’t like my backstory either?”

“Look Ma’am, we don’t want to see you get murdered too.” Officer Locksley added.

“Murdered?” She exclaimed

“Why do you always do that?” Officer Nolan yelled at his partner before turning back to her. “Look, just stay away from the man, let us do our job.”

Emma laughed and turned away from them. “Try doing your job first, maybe then you can give me advice.”

Emma took the backstreets home, satisfied when she didn’t see the black car following her anymore. How dare they judge someone because they had to live in a shelter. Emma had spent a few years in one herself before she was able to provide for her and Henry. Things weren’t always easy for them after Neal left them high and dry with no income and no clothes on their backs. Emma did what she had to do to survive. She hated to think that because of that, she was viewed as a bad mother.

She would do anything for Henry.

Emma tossed her keys on the table, shutting the door behind her and locking the latch. She went to the fridge and grabbed a beer, popping the top and dropping down on her couch. She reached over and pulled the laptop toward her, clicking the button as it blinked to life.

Pulling up Google, she typed, “Killian Jones Storybrooke.”

The search was quick and efficient, the first story came with an older photo of the man she met today. He was younger, probably in his early 20’s. The photo was of him being taken into custody, and another of his mug shot, steely blue eyes staring into the lens with a look of anger. The article was from 15 years ago.

“Killian Jones arrested for manslaughter.” The title caused her eyes to grow, she clicked the link, digging into the details. It appeared the man worked for a criminal mastermind, Mr. Gold, who operated outside the lines of Storybrooke. Killian appeared to be the muscle, hustling people for money that was owed to his boss. The story told of a love affair with the bosses’ wife, Milah. Apparently love was enough to set him straight and he turned on Gold.

From what she could gather from the court case notes, Killian had interrupted a fight between Mr. Gold and his wife, a fight so brutal that it left the woman paralyzed and unable to walk. The ensuing fight ended with Mr. Gold’s death and Killian’s incarceration for manslaughter, with time served and good behavior, Killian served five years.

Emma searched again, “Killian and Milah Jones.” A grainy photo of a wedding was all she could find, the man smiling as he stood behind the woman in the wheelchair. She bit her lip, clicking onto the next article. “Woman dies in car crash leaving behind husband and infant daughter.”

Emma made an audible noise as she clicked the article, reading the story about how a drunk driver had crashed into the couple who were returning home from a quiet dinner. Milah Jones died at the scene leaving Killian alone with his infant daughter, Alice.

Emma wiped the tears from her eyes, clicking on the search bar. “Killian Jones missing daughter”

The photo of the carnival caused her heart to stop. She recognized the lettering on the sign in the background. It said “Neverland”, but she remembered the way the letters of “Pixie Hollow” lit up the night she had arrived at the carnival. Reading the article, she found that the story matched the one that Killian had told her earlier that evening. His daughter had gone into the ride and never came out.

Whatever Killian had become in his life, a liar wasn’t one of them.

Emma didn’t know what it was about the man on the screen in front of her, blue eyes staring back at her as if he had a sad story to tell, but more than anything, she saw understanding behind his eyes. He understood what she was going through more than anyone else.

She reached for her phone sending off a text to Will.

Emma: You were right, it was a wild goose chase going after these parents, no one wanted to talk to me. I just need a few days to get right in my head. I’ll text you soon. Love you.

Before she could stop herself, she was in her car, driving down the highway on her way back to Boston. She glanced in the rearview mirror making sure there wasn’t a black car behind her, the officers who had found nothing about her son in the time they had been looking.

When she pulled up to the dock, she looked at herself in the mirror. “This is crazy.” She said with a laugh.

Crazy was all she had, she thought.

Getting out of her car, she made her way toward the boat parked at the end of the slip. She creeped onboard, unsure of the etiquette for alerting the resident of a houseboat to her presence. “Hello?” She called out nervously, hoping he wasn’t brandishing his knife at this hour. “Killian? It’s me, Emma Swan. We met earlier today.”

There was a creak below her, and she froze. “Hello?”

“It’s bad form to sneak into a man’s home in the middle of the night.” She heard the voice below her; his boots tapped against the boards as he ascended the stairs, moonlight dancing against his dark hair as he reached the deck.

“I’m sorry. I uh…I needed to talk to you. To warn you.”

“Warn me? What do you have to warn me about, love?”

“When I left here, I was followed by the cops.”

“Of course, you were. I’m honestly surprised it took Mills this long to send those two out for a visit. Pity they involved you, my apologizes, Swan.”

“Wait, you knew you were being followed?”

“David and Robin have been keeping an eye on me ever since I left Storybrooke. They are determined that one day they will catch me slicing young children to pieces and put me away forever.” He narrowed his eyes. “Is that what you believe, love?”

“I think you just miss your daughter.” She said softly.

“You mean the boys didn’t tell you all about my sordid past?”

“No. Well, I mean yes, but I don’t care. I read all about it, Mr. Gold, Milah, Alice, if you wanted to hurt me you would have done it earlier when you held a knife to my throat. The way I see it, everyone has a past, that doesn’t mean we don’t miss our kids.”

He stepped toward her. “You’re not afraid of me, Lass?”

She shivered as his lips practically danced off her neck. “N..no.” He stepped back and stared at her as if he were examining every inch of her.

“Then you believe my little, how did you put it earlier…fairytale?”

“I don’t know what I believe, but I know my son didn’t run away.”

“Very well, then it’s story time.”

~*~

“Daddy I want to ride the Jolly Roger!”

“Ok starfish, but first daddy needs to get you that churro you wanted.”

“But I want to ride the ride, there’s isn’t any line.”

“But you can’t take food with you on the ride, Alice.”

“I can go on it by myself while you hold my churro, daddy. I’m a big girl.”

“Are you now, love?”

The little girl smiled brightly, and Killian knew he could never tell her no. He paid for the churro and the man handed it toward him as they walked toward the Jolly Roger Adventure ride. They approached the attendant and he handed over the tickets.

“Is she alright to ride alone?”

The man laughed, “Ah yeah, it’s not scary, in one door and out the other.”

He nodded to the man, looking around at the quiet ride, there wasn’t a single child in line. “Alright, starfish, get in your ship and enjoy the ride.” The little girl wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled up at him.

“Love you daddy.”

“I love you too, my darling.”

She ran toward the ride, looking back one last time. “Don’t eat my churro.”

Killian’s eyes darted around the room, watching as the woman examined the photos he had amassed in the belly of his boat. He didn’t know if the woman believed everything he had told her about his dealings with Peter Pan and his traveling carnival, but he knew that she was desperate to find her son and if he knew anything it was that desperate people would believe almost anything.

If Pan had this woman’s son, he would need her to believe him. It was the only way he was ever going to get Alice back. He’d been doing this alone for five years, maybe it was time to try something else.

~*~

“What are you going to do when you get out of here?” Alice asked Henry as they sat in the dark.

“I’m going to eat the biggest piece of birthday cake I’ve ever eaten. I might even eat an entire cake.” The girl laughed. In the few days she had known Henry, he had always been at her side. He was scared and missed his mother, but more than anything else, he seemed to feel comfortable in her presence.

Alice had been here longer than most of the other children, she had remembered that terrifying feeling of being alone, knowing that you were trapped and couldn’t get home. She missed her father more than anything in this world but growing up she had learned a lot from her father about accepting your circumstances, learning to adapt to your environment.

She had done just that, adapted. She didn’t cause trouble, she made friends with all the children, and she knew when to speak and when not to. She felt it was her job to take the children under her wing, to keep them out of harms way.

“What are you going to do when you get out of here?” The boy asked.

“I’m going to sit down with my dad and eat a churro.” She laughed, smiling fondly at the last memory she had of her father standing at the entrance of that stupid ride, holding a teddy bear in one arm and a churro in the other. The smile on his face as he watched her disappear into the black void was the last thing she remembered every night when she went to sleep.

One day, I’ll find you daddy, she thought.

One day, I promise.

#mystery of pixie hollow #stacy's fics #emma swan #killian jones #captain swan fics #captain swan au #captain swan modern au #captain swan

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dnvrsmedia · 4 years ago

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Ready or Not

Carol Danvers x Reader

request: none

summary: you get promoted to become apart of the world’s mightiest heroes. you meet carol & hit it off right away. how will your relationship bloom?

AN: this is going to be a series, so stick around! i’m super excited to get back into writing my best girl!! i hope you all had a wonderful holiday season & are staying safe. <3

part 1, 2

Holy shit is all you could repeat in your head. You’ve just come out of a meeting with Agent Hill and Director Fury and all you could repeat in your head was ‘holy shit’. The day started off as a normal day at HQ. You had gotten back from a simple extraction mission a few days ago. All you had in store was paper work and training...or so you thought. About an hour into work, you get a call from Agent Hill. Now, this wasn’t all that weird to you since you and Hill have grown closer throughout your time at S.H.I.E.L.D.

“Hey Hill, did I do something wrong already?” You jokingly say. It has become a running gag between you and her that you can never file your paperwork properly.

“Not yet, but I’m actually calling because Fury wants to talk. Meet us at his office in 15. Don’t be late.” And with that ever so ominous tone, she hangs up.

You, like many agents, have only had to deal with the Director a handful of times. You weren’t scared of the man per se, just scared of what you might have done to grant a visit from him. You work your way through the building with an anxious shake in your hands. You are Agent L/N, you were known for a lot of things, but being late was not one of them, and you are going to keep it that way.

Ten minutes and a few elevator rides later, you made it to Fury’s floor with five minutes to spare. You took a long deep breath in to calm your nerves before knocking on his door. A stern, “Come in!” was voiced from the other side of the door. You straightened your blazer and walked in with your head held high. Fake til you make it, right?

As you pull open the door, you see Director Fury facing the wall. You internally roll your eyes. How dramatic. As you walk further in, you notice Maria and two others. Those other two just so happen to be Captain Steve Rogers and Captain Carol Danvers. You have done a handful of missions and assignments with Steve, but you have yet had the chance to work with Captain Danvers. Your face immediately heats up when you notice Carol has seen you practically drooling over how stunning she is. You look back up to notice that she’s smirking at your embarrassment. God, this is going to be a long meeting.

“Agent L/N,” Fury turns around and sticks out his hand for you to shake.

“Director.” You take his hand in yours for a quick yet sturdy shake. You turn to your left to see Maria smirking. You furrow your brows and sneekily stick your tongue at her. Was that childish? Of course.

“Agent, You’ve met Captain Rogers,” Fury turns your attention to Steve.

“Yes I have,” You give Steve a smile and shake his hand. “Always a pleasure, Captain.”

“Nice to see you, L/N.” Steve politely replies.

“This is-”

“Captain Danvers, but you, sweetheart, can call me Carol.” She interrupts Fury with a smirk. Your face immediately goes red again as she takes your hand. Instead of giving you a normal handshake, she brings your hand up to her mouth and winks. You felt like you were about to explode. You heard Maria trying to keep her giggles in and gave her your best side eye. Fury cleared his throat to regain your attention.

“If the two of you are done,” He stares at Carol as she smiles smugly. “I'd like to get to the reason why we’re here.” You shake your head and move to sit down. The only seat available just so happens to be right next to Carol. You sigh and focus all your attention on Fury.

...

“An Avenger?” You yelp. Holy shit. You turn to Maria to make sure you heard him correctly.

“We know how big of a commitment this is, so take your time, but we could definitely use someone of your skill on our team.” Steve kindly says. You look back at Carol almost as if you’re asking for her opinion. She gives you a smirk and a nod. Letting out a deep breath you turn back to face Steve and Fury.

“When do I start?” You grin.

You were told that your things were going to be brought from your apartment and in the meantime you were to be given clothes to borrow for bed. After the meeting, you were escorted with Steve and Carol to the Avengers compound. They wanted you to get settled and meet the rest of the team as soon as possible. You were going to be scheduled on a mission in a couple of weeks. Having worked with the earth’s mightiest heroes before, you weren’t too worried about how you were to fit in.

“Earth to Y/N.” Carol said taking you out of your train of thought. You turned to face her to see that infamous smirk she seemingly sports everywhere.

“Uh hi? Sorry I was just thinking.” You awkwardly chuckled.

“No worries, sweetheart. I was just wondering if you were hungry? We kind of came in before you could have your lunch.”

Just when you were about to oppose, your stomach made a loud gurgling noise. You both look down to the source of the noise and start laughing.

“I guess that answers my question then. How about after I give you the tour we order out from a local diner?” You look back up and see her with a hopeful look in her eye. She was pouting and giving you the biggest puppy dog eyes. She looked absolutely adorable. You silently hope that you could make her do that again.

“Are you trying to get on my good side? Because if you are it’s definitely working.” You giggle and her face lights up.

Steve pulls the car around to the garage and parks it. You step out of the car in awe. It is only hitting you now that this is going to be your life for the foreseeable future. All you could have ever wanted and needed was right in front of you. Steve comes up behind you and squeezes your shoulder.

“Welcome to your new home, kid.”

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wizardofrozz · 4 years ago

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Fuck Away the Pain: Part 2

Bucky Barnes x Super-Soldier!Reader, past Steve Rogers x Super-Soldier!Reader, Natasha Romanoff, mention of Peggy Carter

Summary: Steve shows up out of nowhere, turning everyone’s world upside down.

Word Count: 2,786

Warnings: angst, swearing, depression, mention of smut

A/N: I’m sorry this took so long, college is killing me. I originally wanted to have this follow what happened in Endgame but I got this idea and loved it!

Part 1

Steve POV

I landed roughly on the time machine platform, slowly getting to my feet. I looked around, realizing no one was standing around the machine. My eyes were adjusting to the dark when it dawned on me; I’m standing in the storage bays at the compound. What the hell is going on? Where is everyone?

“Hello?” I yelled.

“INTRUDER ALERT!” red lights started flashing, sirens wailing as metal panels shut off all the possible exits. After stumbling around for a few minutes, having only the flashing red light to see anything, I heard a door open near me. No one called out, but I could faintly hear their feet shuffling as they searched the room; I saw the flashlight beam turn towards me, blinding me.

“What the fuck? Steve?” Nat’s voice came from the other side of the flashlight.

“Hey, can you stop blinding me now?” I groaned, trying to shield my eyes. Nat lowered the flashlight enough that I could see her face better; her eyes were wide, mouth hanging open. “Nat, what’s going on? Why are we in the storage bay?” I asked, taking a step closer to her.

“Where have you been?!” she yelled, catching me off guard.

“Yeah, I know I’m a little late. Things got messed up, but Jesus, I didn’t show up right away, and you guys packed everything up already? I see how much everyone cares about me,” I spat at her, anger bubbling up in my chest.

“Steve! You’ve been gone almost a year!” she screamed at me, tears rolling down her face; I couldn’t tell if it was anger or sadness.

“What?” I stumbled back; she may as well have just punched me. “No, that can’t be right. There’s no way!” my voice kept rising as I spoke until I was screaming at Nat.

“What the fuck happened?” she whispered this time, taking a step closer.

“I don’t know,” I whispered. “I tried to hit the time slot, but for some reason, the bracelet wasn’t working. I finally got it to register and bring me back. I wasn’t gone that long! H-how has it been so long here?” I mumbled; I tried to take a step, but it help like everything was spinning. How did I lose so much time? What happened since I’ve been gone? Oh god, (Y/N).

“Come on, let’s go inside,” Nat said, pulling me out of the storage bay. “Things have changed a little since you’ve been gone,” she warned. I fell in step with her, trying to organize the ten thousand questions swirling around in my head.

“What do you mean?” I looked down at her, waiting for her to meet my gaze.

“One step at a time. Let’s let everyone know you’re here. Hey guys!” Nat yelled as she led me into the kitchen, but they didn’t hear her. As I stepped through the doorway, I almost stumbled back out when I realized who was in the kitchen. It felt like someone shot me through the chest; Bucky’s arms were wrapped around (Y/N)’s shoulders as she stood on her toes to reach him. I watched for a few seconds, not believing my eyes, as their lips moved together in sync, Bucky’s tongue slipping into her mouth.

“Oh, uh, hey guys,” I managed to say. They froze, pulling away from each other enough to lock eyes; Bucky’s body was rigid, every muscle tense, (Y/N)’s body mirrored his.

“Steve,” they said together as they both turned to look at me, not sounding very excited.

Y/N POV

My head felt like it might explode; Steve was looking back and forth between Bucky and me, still trying to grasp what was going on.

“How?” Bucky finally asked, not taking his eyes off Steve.

“What do you mean how? The same way it worked the first time, just a little behind schedule. How did this happen?” Steve’s voice got louder, anger swirling in his icy blue eyes.

“Oh no, don’t you dare!” I snapped, stepping out of Bucky’s arms, closing the space between Steve and me. “You don’t get to come back after you decided to leave everyone and get pissed. You made that choice!” I screamed at him, tears threatening to fall.

“I didn’t choose to leave!” he screamed back. I stopped in my tracks, his words slamming into me. What the hell was he talking about?

“W-what?” I stammered.

“I didn’t choose to leave; something went wrong. It took me a little longer to get it figured out. I didn’t realize so long had passed,” Steve said with a sigh, rubbing between his eyes. Bucky stumbled into the island, bracing himself as he tried to comprehend what Steve just said.

“We thought you went back,” Bucky whispered, keeping his eyes on the island.

“Went back where?” Steve yelled, throwing his hands in the air. I backed away from him, running into a stool as I tried to wrap my head around the situation.

“The 40’s,” I whispered. My eyes were glued to the floor, not daring to look at Bucky or Steve; how the hell did I get myself into this situation?

“What you thought I went back to Peggy?” Steve exclaimed, looking around the room at Nat, Bucky, and me. “You did; you thought I went back there. That’s why you won’t look at me,” I could feel Steve’s eyes on me.

“Do you blame me!” I yelled, finally looking at him. “I’m not stupid Steve, I know you love me, but I will never compare to her. You would’ve never loved me like you love her. When you missed the time slot and kept going, we assumed you went back. Everyone waited to see if you’d show up again, but nothing happened, months passed, and we gave up,” I said, trying to contain all the anger I felt towards him, even if it was irrational now.

“That’s not fair,” Steve muttered, dropping his gaze.

“You can’t even deny it, Steve! So I wish I were sorry that I assumed the worst, but I’m not. If you could’ve gone back, you would’ve. We all know it,” I said, gesturing to Bucky and Nat, who both shook their heads faintly.

“I’m sorry, I truly am. I hoped that being with you would make me happy, but I can’t help how much I still love her. I do love you, and I never wanted to hurt you. I shouldn’t have let our relationship go as long as it did,” Steve said, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes as he looked at me.

“No, you shouldn’t have, but it's over now. Even though you didn’t go back for her, I hope you wouldn’t expect me to just deal with being second best because I won’t be. I don’t deserve that,” I said, watching the pain move through his eyes.

“You’re right. I can’t love you the way you deserve,” his voice cracked, a tear spilling over. “But why did that give you the right to sleep with my best friend?” Steve caught everyone off guard with the last part.

“Steve!” Nat scolded him.

“I have a right to know,” Steve said, his eyes boring into the side of Bucky’s head.

“Stevie, it wasn’t like that,” Bucky said, lifting his head.

“I knew how you felt about her. You took advantage of her being upset,” Steve took a step towards Bucky.

“Fucking excuse me. Don’t you dare start that with that bullshit, Rogers. I never took advantage of her!” Bucky yelled, turning towards his best friend. Bucky stood at his full height, his shoulders pushed back, reminding me how huge he is.

“Well, how else would it have happened then?” Steve grunted, stepping closer to Bucky.

“Enough,” I said flatly, rolling my eyes. “You two are going to fight because of me, really? I’ll walk away from both of you if this is how you’re going to be. You two have known each other your entire lives; I’m not getting in the way of that. When you two can stand being in the same room again, we’ll revisit this; until then, I don’t want to see either of you. I have a mission briefing I’m going to be late for,” I turned away from them, grabbing Nat’s hand and heading for my room.

“Wait, you’re dumping Bucky?” Nat said, pulling me to a stop.

“Fuck, I don’t know. I just don’t want their friendship to fall apart because of me,” I sighed. “Come on, walk and talk. I do have a briefing,” I said, pulling Nat along again.

Bucky POV

Steve swiveled, and I looked around him to see (Y/N) walking out of the kitchen, pulling Nat with her.

“What just happened?” I said, the shock of the situation sinking in.

“I’m not quite sure,” Steve mumbled, turning back to face me. “Look, I’m sorry, Buck, I know you would never take advantage of her. I’m just so confused. How did so much time pass? How did I lose her and not even realize it?” Steve said, tears pooling again as he looked into my eyes.

“I would never. I just wanted to be there for her. I thought you left me behind too, and that really fucking hurt; I knew how she felt. I didn’t intend for things to go the way they did,” I sighed, dropping heavily onto a stool behind me.

“You’re better for her anyway,” Steve mumbled, taking a seat next to me.

“What?” I froze, not sure if I had heard him correctly.

“Come on, jerk; you’re better for her. She doesn’t deserve a man who is still hopelessly in love with a woman who’s been dead for seven years. She deserves a man who will do anything to make her happy and love only her. And you deserve a woman as amazing as her,” Steve turned his head slightly, a smile pulling at his lips.

“Steve,” I started, but he put a hand up.

“Buck, I did this to myself. I let myself believe she wouldn’t notice, and I’m an idiot for it. I hurt her enough; I’m not going to continue to hurt her by holding this against you or her. Please, be happy; after everything you’ve been through, you deserve it,” Steve smiled at me, but I could still see the pain in his eyes.

“Still my best friend, punk,” I gave him a half-smile.

“Can’t get rid of me that easy jerk,” Steve clapped a hand on my shoulder, pulling me into a hug. “It’s going to be weird for a while, but we’ve made it through worse,” Steve mumbled into my shoulder. I took a deep breath, finally relaxing some; Steve pulled away, taking a step back. Once the stress of the entire situation wore off, a new feeling hit me bringing tears to my eyes; my best friend was back. Without thinking, I grabbed Steve again, hugging him a little too tightly. “Buck, what’s wrong?” Steve croaked.

“I was so stressed about the situation with (Y/N), I didn’t realize how happy I am to see you again. I thought I lost my family all over again,” I choked out, squeezing Steve again. We stood like that for a while, Steve hugging me back just as tightly.

Y/N POV

The hollow clicking of my boots echoed off the walls of the hall as I flipped through the mission file.

“There you are, doll,” Bucky’s voice pulled me away from the information in front of me. He stood in the middle of the hallway, his huge body blocking my path.

“Bucky,” I greeted him coolly, trying to step around him.

“Awe, don’t be like that,” Bucky whined, mirroring my sidestep.

“I already told you, you two need to make up,” I stated, my eyes never leaving the folder in my hands.

“We did,” Bucky chirped, pleased with himself.

“You did?” I asked, finally looking at him.

“Yeah, ask Steve. He’s in the common room right now,” Bucky turned, pointing in the general direction of the apartment wing of the building. I nodded, walking towards where Steve was sitting, Bucky following closely behind.

“Steve?” I called when I made it to the common room, finding the blonde stretched out on the couch.

“Hey!” he shot into a sitting position. “Everything okay?” he asked, anxiously running his hands over his legs.

“You and Bucky made up?” I asked, looking for any signs of a lie.

“I can’t expect you to run back to me when I’ve been hurting you for a long time. You and Bucky both deserve happiness, and it’s unfair for me to be upset if you two find that in each other. I won’t stand in the way of that,” Steve looked back and forth between Bucky and me, a slight smile on his lips.

“I didn’t want to see the truth of the situation between us. I was never going to be enough, and that’s okay. I can accept that. But I won’t stand in the way of your friendship with Bucky. I want us to be able to coexist,” I said, keeping my eyes locked on Steve’s.

“I’m happy for both of you,” Steve smiled, getting to his feet. He stopped in front of me, hesitating, before pulling me into a hug; my body stiffened, but I quickly relaxed, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I’m sorry I ever hurt you; I hope we can at least be friends,” Steve mumbled against my hair.

“Friends,” I smiled, pulling away from him. Steve smiled again, turning his face quickly away from me before walking over to Bucky.

“Now go make it up to her jerk,” Steve chuckled, playfully elbowing Bucky.

“I plan on it,” Bucky smirked, grabbing Steve by the shoulder, pulling him into a bear hug. “I missed you, punk,” Bucky whispered.

“I’m here now,” Steve mumbled against Bucky’s shoulder.

“Stevie, you need a shower,” Bucky chuckled.

“Okay, I’m going to shower and get some sleep, so I’ll see you two in the morning,” Steve yawned, pulling away from Bucky.

“Night, Steve,” I smiled, waving.

“Night, Stevie,” Bucky said, smacking Steve’s back. He waved as he yawned again, trudging towards his room. “Well, doll, do you have to be anywhere?” Bucky asked, slinging his metal arm over my shoulder.

“Nope,” I looked up at him, a smile pulling at my lips.

“You want me, right?” Bucky’s question almost made me stumble.

“Baby,” I reached towards his face, but he gently grabbed my wrist.

“I need to hear you say it. I need to know I’m not a second choice,” Bucky whispered, his eyes never leaving mine.

“I want you, all of you. That first night, I didn’t want to be alone, and you were there. I still feel bad about it, but I fell more in love with you every day after that. You are not a second choice,” I emphasized every word, hoping Bucky could see the sincerity. I thought about telling Bucky that I never felt this way about Steve that I never felt so loved by another person; I decided to wait until we were alone, in case Steve was still around.

“Love,” Bucky whispered, his eyes searching mine frantically.

“I love you, James Barnes,” I whispered, wrapping my arms around his ribcage.

“I love you too (Y/N) (Y/L/N),” he whispered back, sealing his words with a kiss. I jumped, wrapping my legs around his waist; Bucky groaned deep in his chest, his hands cupping my ass as he carried me to his room. “Let me show you how much I love you,” Bucky whispered against my lips; a chill ran down my spine at the thought.

Steve POV

Sprawled on my bed, I stared at the ceiling, water droplets from my hair wetting my pillow. I tried to push away the crushing feeling in my chest; I lost the woman I thought I loved. (Y/N) was right. It’s not fair for her to stick around when I couldn’t love her the way she deserved. Peggy Carter left a hole in my heart that, I hoped, (Y/N) could fill, but I still ached for Peggy; no one could fill the void she left behind. No matter how much I loved (Y/N), I couldn’t be selfless; I couldn’t continue to hurt her or withhold the glimmer of happiness Bucky finally found. My eyes slid shut, hoping sleep would come soon enough when I heard a faint noise through my wall. I groaned, rolling on my stomach, squeezing my pillow around my head, trying to drown out the faint sound of (Y/N)’s screams. Maybe one day I could find some solace in my best friend’s happiness.

Today wasn’t that day.

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@criminalyetminimal

#bucky barnes #bucky #winter solider #marvel #bucky x reader #super solider #super solider reader #mcu #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #james buchanan barnes #james barnes #sargent barnes #sargent james barnes

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